This is our Last Goodbye
by heatherberry
Summary: This romantic and angsty romp starts where the episode Transition finished....a vacation in the Bahamas leads to personal and difficult revelations...and some other juicy stuff! JD COMPLETE! chapter 5 repetition fixed!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1...of a few already...please please feedback if you want more of this story - or if you don't! I just want to learn!**

Finally breaking the kiss, Josh exhaled and rested his forehead against hers.

God she tasted good. She turned him on in ways he'd never felt before, but there was something else, something he couldn't really define. Not yet anyway.

"I'm glad," she whispered.

"Glad?"

"That me coming with you was your idea. Sam may have managed to convince someone to marry him, but I'm not ready to believe he's a relationship guru

just yet."

He laughed and leaned back into his chair as Donna twisted away from him to stow her luggage under her seat. He turned, gazing out the small window, and yawned. Exhaustion didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling. His head, his arms, God, his entire body felt like a leaden weight and he was desperate to not feel that way anymore.

Josh, startled out of his reverie, turned at the sound of Donna clicking her seatbelt. She lifted her eyes to him and smiled her crooked smile that warmed him instantly, lifting that weight just a little. She reached down and twined her fingers with his, lifting their hands to the armrest between them in an intimate gesture. Glancing at her face, he found she was looking at their hands. She rubbed the pad of her thumb over the back of his knuckle.

"This is nice," she sighed, looking up and meeting his gaze.

"Nice," he echoed.

"Nice, on a scale of niceness…."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm a man on the edge and you're mocking me!"

"Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that," she lowered her voice and lifted his hand to hers, gently pressing it to her lips.

His eyelids flickered shut at her touch; he drew a long breath and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a stewardess, asking to look at their seatbelts. Lifting their hands he revealed their belts.

"This is new," he said, indicating their hands as he lowered them back between them, "nice and new."

"Yeah, we skipped some stuff," she replied, "you know, on the way."

"The way to where?" He asked, seriously looking at her, head to one side. She was the one who needed to do this, bring him answers to tricky questions, the

questions he didn't have the courage to answer for himself.

"Row 14 seats A and B," she deadpanned.

"Donna."

"Joshua."

He grinned and lightly shrugged. This was her way of telling him she wasn't going to be the one to lead this and define them at every turn. She'd done her bit for now. "Ok, I get it."

"First time for everything."

"Is this how it is going to be now?"

"Do you want it any other way?"

"No," and it was his turn to lift their hands to his lips. "No. This is exactly how

I want it."

They looked at each other and he leaned in to kiss her again but the movement of the plane as it rolled back from its stand broke her attention and she grinned sheepishly. "So, the Bahamas huh?"

"Short notice. Best I could do." He smiled wryly.

She laughed. "Sam's idea too?"

"Ronna's actually," he confessed. Once he'd left the congressman he'd practically sprinted the five steps to Ronna's desk and asked her, in barely hushed tones, to book him a five-night stay at any, expensive, resort in the Caribbean she could find, starting that evening. For two. He'd received a wide-eyed look, then a very knowing smile followed by a hand held out for his credit card. "Though not so much her idea as 'Whatever holiday she could book that leaves ASAP, is warm and is not DC.'"

"So we could be in a tent on the beach for all you know then?" She smiled.

"Hell no. I want a bath."

She raised just the one eyebrow this time.

He took a beat.

"You're going to make me have "The Talk" aren't you?" He said, emphasising the words.

"Yes Josh. I think it is pretty safe to say, the moment you pleaded with me to come on vacation with you, that you've locked yourself in to having the talk."

"Pleaded is a strong word."

"Ok, begged."

"I didn't beg!"

"No, you didn't. But it would have been nice."

"Then you should have played harder to get. Sam did, he actually got me to embarrass myself. "

"That I'd have paid money to see."

The plane turned a corner as it taxied to the runway.

"So the talk – later then?"

"Yes Josh, later will do. Right now, just keep holding my hand."

"But you're not afraid of flying."

"I know," she bit her lip. "I just like it when you hold my hand."

"Sure, I can manage that." He said. They turned to face the front as the plane accelerated for take off

………………………..

They walked out of the terminal side by side and the heat swarmed round them like a blanket, drawing their breath.

Donna could feel the persistent flutter of excitement in her belly, the kind she always got when getting off a plane Feeling the change in temperature always made her realise that a long awaited vacation was finally here.

Given this was her first vacation in goodness knows how long, it made the flutter all the more insistent. Or maybe that was just the knot of adrenalin she'd had ever since Josh appeared, leaning against her doorway, characteristically nonchalant, a few hours before. The minute she saw him in her doorway she knew everything was going to change.

He walked ahead and caught the eye of a waiting cab driver that had been leaning against the door of his car. The driver walked to Donna taking her luggage. She smiled gratefully, suddenly exhausted and opened the door to sit in the back of the taxi. She fought the undignified urge to slump across the whole of the seat as Josh slid in next to her and immediately took her hand again. Her stomach flipped again. He'd barely stopped holding her hand since she'd asked him at take off. He'd held it even while she had slept fitfully on his shoulder.

Josh leaned forward and whispered the name of the hotel to the driver.

Pulling away from the terminal she wound the window half down and was soothed by the warm air flooding across her face. She settled back into the leather seat and gazed out of the window, the stream of salty breeze blowing across her damp brow and moving her hair. Through tired eyes, she watched the blur of exquisite scenery as they moved quickly along a coast road, wishing she had the energy to be delighted about this new and foreign land.

She could feel him focus on her again and was pleasantly surprised at what he did next. He pressed lips to her bare shoulder, lightly and quickly kissing her. She laid her cheek against his soft hair, sighing audibly into the darkness, and felt him rub his gently stubbled chin against her shoulder. A moment before she'd been fighting to stay awake, but now the insistent buzz, an almost childish excitement bought her back to wakefulness. Turning her head, she pressed her lips to his damp brow and dropped her shoulder, his head dropping into the crook of her neck, his breath on her skin adding to the butterflies in the very pit of her. She gazed across him, out of the opposite window of the cab, and felt his breathing grow steady as he slept on her shoulder. Still holding her hand.

…………………………….

Half an hour later, the cab drew to a halt, bringing them back to their surroundings. Donna lifted her head and arched her back stretching sore muscles. Josh woke quickly after months of practice and they climbed out of the cab.

The Grand Hotel was a three-story white washed building, seemingly as close to the beach as was possible without actually being on it. To the side of the hotel, the beach rolled away and about a kilometre round a bay, a town rose up, its speckled lights reflecting in the water. Two rows of palm trees flanked a cobbled path leading to the reception, strung with tiny white lights bathing everything in a warm glow.

"Good evening Mr. Lyman, Miss Moss, welcome to the Bahamas," the night manager came forward to greet his guests.

Josh raised an eyebrow and Donna smiled.

"We had a call sir, from Washington." The manager answered the unasked question and shook them both by the hand. "We are honoured to have you here. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay as relaxing and enjoyable as possible."

"Thank you Mr…?"

"Please call me Jacob. Your room is prepared, if you'd follow me," he said, turning and gesturing towards the stairs, an unseen person having already vanished the luggage.

Josh turned to Donna, half bowing and gesturing for her to lead. Donna smiled back and walked across his path, grasping his hand in hers as she passed him, tugging him close behind her.

The door to the corner apartment, on the highest floor was swung open for them and Donna fought to keep her jaw from dropping. The apartment was an open plan, with wooden floors and windows that took up two walls. Shutters had been left open but mosquito blinds were drawn down, allowing moonlight to flood in. She could see roller blinds for privacy but imagined that because of the height no one would be able to see in. A small kitchen area occupied one corner where she could see a table, upon which a silver bucket stood, she assumed containing a bottle of champagne. Against the wall to her left, a king size bed, which made her stomach knot twist sharply and exquisitely.

They travelled hundreds of times together, but this was one room, one bed, first time.

Hearing a loud click, she realised Jacob was still talking. He was demonstrating to Josh how to lock the door and pointing down the hallway to show the exits.

"Is there anything else I can get you Mr. Lyman?"

"No thanks Jacob, and it's Josh."

"And Donna," she quickly added.

"Goodnight then," Jacob said, backing out of the room and drawing the door shut. Josh's hand pushed it that final inch until it clicked and he turned the key twice in the lock.

…………………………

Josh turned into the room, leaning his back against the door to pause and take in his surroundings – but really he couldn't take his eyes off Donna. He'd watched her survey the room; she took it all in with barely contained glee and it made him happy. Simple happiness.

Slipping off her shoes, Donna moved gracefully barefoot to the table. Moonlight filled the room with a diffuse pale glow, framing her beautifully. He watched her delicate, elegant arms and hands as she twisted the bottle in the silver bucket so she could read a label tied around its neck. She picked it up, the icy water dripping down the side and faced him – holding the bottle up in a "you want some?" gesture.

He shook his head and walked purposefully towards her, closing the gap between them. He reached up closing his hand over hers on the neck of the bottle and lowered their hands, settling the bottle back into the bucket. He didn't want anything to delay what he wanted to do, needed to do.

She looked straight into his eyes, as if she were regarding his soul. He stared back and could find no hint of a question, no sign of nerves. He was feeling both but seeing the certainty in her cerulean blue eyes he found he had the courage to continue.

Moulding his hand to the small of her back he pulled her body, warm and firm to his and kissed her. He felt the vibration of her moan, and he shivered as she moved her tongue to meet his. The kiss, deep and passionate quickly, wasn't enough. Her hands cradled his face as he raised a hand, tangling it in her hair, the other pulling her as tightly to him as he could.

"Josh," she murmured, breaking the kiss and gasping for air, her longing evident.

"Donna," he growled, the necessity to have her skin against his hurtling towards unbearable. He spun her round, and they stumbled across the room towards the bed, tearing at each other's clothes and kissing each other fiercely. A button from his shirt skittered across the floor as she forced it down over his broad shoulders. His fingers tugged at her waist, drawing her silk top from her pants, pushing it up and over her breasts. He would worship her all night if he could, but now he just wanted to feel her against him.

………………………

Donna was nearly crying she needed him so badly. They needed each other in ways too numerous to ever count but at this minute only one way mattered. She had had him before but this was something else altogether. They were here with each other for the right reasons this time and she couldn't wait another second.

The back of her knees bumped against the end of the bed and she steadied herself, not wanting to fall back just yet. She pulled at his vest, yanking it over his head and was forced to break their increasingly forceful kisses. His hands ran round her waist, around the band of her pants, desperately trying to find the zipper. She giggled against his lips and he pulled his head back, smiling too.

They stood there, both in a state of semi-undress, grinning at each other.

"What are you waiting for?" She challenged playfully, lifting her chin, her hands paused at the top button of his fly. His hands were at the small of her back, having located the tiny zipper they'd been searching for.

"This." He replied, slowly lowering the zip, his hands trailing back to her hips and slowly, achingly, pushing her pants down to the floor. She stepped out of them as he stood back up, meeting her gaze.

As she saw his eyes trail up her body, she fleetingly remembered telling him that there had been a build up to them, how she had tactically acknowledged this long held attraction without actually acknowledging it. As they stood there, her in nothing but underwear, him in his pants, she realised the urgency had left and she needed this to be slow.

She echoed his movements of a few seconds before, slowly unbuttoning his pants and unzipping his fly, enjoying the groan that escaped his lips as her hands brushed excruciatingly slowly down the front of his groin.

"Donna?"

"Josh."

His palms smoothed from the small of her back, sliding up and across the expanse of soft skin finally and curling his fingers over her shoulders. The warmth and firmness of his touch created a delicious friction and she arched her back in response, pushing forward against him, pressing as much of her body against his as possible. He lowered his lips to her collarbone and licked and nibbled along her neck and shoulder. She dropped her head back, gasping as if her breath was being tugged from her. Pressing her hips forward, she could feel his hardness pressed against her thigh, could feel his restraint as if he were willing himself not to grind back into her. She drew her fingers up his sides, along the sensitive flesh along his flanks, and grasped his arms, digging her fingernails every so slightly in. His lips trailed down along the edge of her lace bra, his tongue wet against her already damp skin.

This time when she spoke his name all teasing was gone.

He hummed gently against her breast and reached his right hand round, cupping her breast. His thumb traced gently over the lace and her nipple and she nearly lost herself. The sound of her moan made him look up and she gazed back through heavy eyelids.

He lowered his fingers and traced the underside of her bra, both hands now meeting at the front clasp. Pulling the delicate material down he let it drop to the floor. She crushed herself to him again, naked chests together.

……………..

Josh couldn't quite comprehend how he was still standing. Just having her pressed so close was nearly enough to send him plummeting over the edge. He could feel the heat radiating from her centre intoxicating him. Lowering his head to her shoulder he inhaled the scent that had tormented him for years and she responded, tightening her grip on his arms, spurring him back to motion. He gently lowered her to the bed his eyes roving over her long, lithe legs as she slowly pushed herself toward the headboard. He openly stared, rejoicing in the sight of her, bathed in moonlight, pale and ethereal. He was scared that if he blinked she might dissipate into the still, humid.

Responding to his stare, she beckoned to him. Even in the dark he could se the aroused flush of her skin and wanting nothing more than to be touching her he reached out and took hold of her delicate hand, binging it to his lips and kissing the palm.

The times they'd done this before were fast and furious, both of them wanting fulfilment and wanting it immediately, needing closeness but not having the energy to do much more than ensure gratification for themselves.

This was not of that mould. He'd watched her for years; watched her with other men, watched her drag herself out of a pit of despair, watched her follow him around like a puppy dog, but he had never truly seen her until now, as she offered herself to him again, renewed. This time was going to be different.

He knelt down beside her and reached out, his fingers meeting her smooth ankles and saw her eyelids flutter shut at the contact. He took his time, massaging her, smoothing his palms along her calves to the sides of her knees and firmly up the front of her thighs, increasing the pressure of his touch as he got closer to her waist. He lowered his head and kissed what evidently appeared to be sensitive skin just below her navel. Smiling into her belly at the wondrous sound of her sighs, he continued to lick and kiss and inhale as he moved further up. Her hands were on his shoulders now, kneading and pressing his skin, a movement he mimicked on her breasts, causing her to writhe on the bed. Her hips ground downwards as he gently sucked the softest skin around the dark areoles and he suppressed a growl low in his throat. When he gently skimmed her nipple with his teeth Donna actually whimpered. He stared up at her face, fascinated as she tossed her head from side to side.

He leaned over her and dragged his hands, tantalisingly slow, down her sides until his fingers caught in the lace edge of her panties. He gripped the edges between his thumb and forefingers and looked up again seeking permission, locking his eyes with hers and she lifted her chin, almost imperceptibly, but definitely impatiently, and he smiled as he pulled them down and off her.

There she was, naked, stunning, and just for him. He berated himself for never taking the time to really look at her before when they'd slept together. What the hell had he been doing to almost lose this, to take it for granted when he had it?

Her breasts rose and fell as she panted in her desire. He lowered his head to her knees and began to kiss them as she squirmed again, mewing a soft sound that balanced precariously between pleasure and pain. He caressed the inside of her thighs with his tongue and gently pushed them apart with his hands.

He shifted them both and laid down between her legs, his face barely above her centre as he breathed in her scent.

"Josh, please," she barely managed to force out and he dipped his head as she raised her hips to meet his prying tongue.

…………………….

A long held breath escaped them both on contact. Donna gripped the sheets in her hands, desperate in an attempt not to grab him and push him deeper into her. His tongue and lips danced across her, exquisite in their torture and she cried out, cried his name. His hands massaged her thighs and she pushed her body towards him again and he understood, moving a hand up and slipping a finger inside her warmth.

Her breath started to come in deep, ragged pants as she neared the edge; her vision became tunnelled and every nerve on her body seemed to be inexplicably joined to where his lips were gently sucking and teasing. She was close….so close…so close….and then as he drew his teeth across her she was spiralling. He slipped another finger in her as she fell over the edge and she keened his name into the darkness.

………………..

Josh soothed her spasming centre with his tongue, not pushing her again but gently prolonging the moment with wide, slow strokes.

He raised himself up, moved and stretched his body alongside hers, sliding a hand across her smooth stomach as her breathing returned to a steady rhythm. His hardness was straining at his boxers but he held still, trapped in realisation beyond the bear inkling he'd had before. He was in love with her and it overwhelmed him.

He reeled at the realisation only stirred back to consciousness as he felt her grin against his shoulder and he gently rolled her away so he could see her.

"760 verbal? Are you sure that wasn't oral?"

Josh felt his jaw dropping, and gathered her up, rocking her body to him, grabbing her close in an effort to stop her saying anything else, because while the fact she could still tease him was comforting, it certainly hadn't matched with where his head had been. Time to banter back he supposed.

"Well if I'd known that particular method of distraction worked so well I'd have started a long time ago."

He cursed himself silently, as she laughed and muttered something about basic humour, for not doing a lot of things sooner.

As her laughter faded, her hands moved across his chest, pausing for a second over the scars, as if she were considering them, but apparently deciding to come back to them later.

Instead, she stopped using the soft pads of her fingers to touch him and began to trail her fingernails unbearably slowly across his stomach. He tried desperately to lie still, but groaned as her hands slipped inside the waistband of his boxers. It was her turn to push the cloth down, manoeuvring the fabric over his hardness. She pulled them down over his feet then crawled back up to where he lay on his side She straddled him, placing her hand on his hip forcing him over obediently onto his back.

He watched as she positioned herself above him, his hand went to rest on her hips and she looked down at him. Never breaking eye contact, she dipped her hand between them and gathered her wetness on her fingertips, and then slid her hands over him. He moaned loudly as she lubricated him with their moisture.

Her next move almost finished him before he even entered her. She lifted her fingers to her lips and tasted them.

"Oh God," he moaned, hoarse with desire.

"Ssshhh." She lifted her hands towards him and he grasped them, twining their fingers together and she lowered herself on to him.

And then began to move.

It was his turn to crush his eyelids closed and swipe his head from side to side as she slowly tortured him. He raised his hips up to meet her and she massaged him from within, moving up and down at a pace that would inevitably drive him insane. She rode him slowly, milking him with every upstroke; it was turning him inside out and he felt himself skimming swiftly, too quickly towards his own edge.

"Joshua."

His eyes snapped open and locked with hers. She was close again, her skin flushed, her breasts rising and falling. He unlinked one hand and moved his fingers back to her centre and began to circle her clit. She spoke almost as soon as he touched her.

"I'm there Josh, come for me."

He needed no more invitation as he yelled her name and emptied himself into her, straining to keep his eyes open to watch her fling her head back and cry out with him. Shockwaves jolted through him as her spasm drew out their combined exquisite pleasures.

As their cries subsided, she lowered herself to his damp chest. Her hair splayed across him and they grasped each other tightly, his fingers curled around her calf, her leg slung around his thigh, holding him close to her. He felt the tension diminishing as he slipped regrettably towards sleep. He lifted her chin with his thumb and sought permission from her. Pressing a kiss to his lips and settling herself into his arms she whispered to him.

"Sleep, Josh. I'm not going anywhere."

**…………………………..**

**Going ok? Want to find out what happens next? Feedback is better than hugs and smoochies!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** Thank you so much for the review and contact so far. You've given me the nerve to put up this next chapter! I love to learn so all comments are very welcome!

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Chapter 2

Donna woke to a quiet knock on their door. Their door. Even in her sleep addled brain she noticed the change in terminology. Well, that hadn't taken long.

Slipping out of bed she raised the sheet over Josh's still sleeping form, pausing for a few seconds to watch him sleep. He looked younger when he slept; he was still pale and had dark circles beneath his eyes, but he finally looked like he was getting some peace and that pleased her.

She padded to the bathroom to splash water on her face, clammy from last night's travel and other exertions. She found a thin cotton robe hanging on the back of the door slipped it on, tying it loosely round her waist. Unlocking the front door, she found a breakfast tray with fruit and juice. She carried it through the room, stealing another glance at Josh's slumbering form. Heading for the kitchenette she noticed a door leading to a balcony she hadn't spotted the previous night. This apartment just got better and better!The balcony held a small table and two chairs and faced the ocean. Near the railing, almost close enough for her to touch, a gentle breeze moved through the leaves of a palm tree. Turning her face to the sun, she could tell that the temperature wasn't going to be unbearably hot, even later in the day.

Pouring herself a glass of juice, Donna leaned against the rail running round the edge of the balcony. She had no idea what the time was and it was hard to guess from the level of activity beneath her. She assumed they'd missed breakfast hours, hence the tray they hadn't ordered, but possibly it was another instruction from Washington. Only a few sun chairs had occupants, two people having a conversation while watching dogs running circles on the beach. In the hotel pool, a lone man swam a strong front crawl. It struck her as unnecessary to have a pool considering the expanse of ocean in front of her.

Donna was used to surviving on so little sleep that it was a surprise she seemed to have slept late; her body was used to getting up before dawn, so it was little wonder she felt refreshed.

Placing her glass down on the little table on the balcony she stretched her arms high and rocked her head from side to side, pulling at stiff muscles. She smiled as the cause of those stiff muscles encouraged pleasant memories of last night. Last night had been different from the other times they had been together and she needed to think and process a little. Picking up a few grapes and taking hold of her glass, she turned back to face the ocean.

Her heart had broken when she left the White House, when she left him. She had known it was the right decision and the events in the last few months supported that tenfold. Joining the campaign trail had been an obvious path, a path she had to take after Gaza to allow her to move on and heal.

Leaving him had been the hardest part, especially considering that she was one of the few people in his life who knew that his deepest fears came from being alone, even where the solitude of his own making. She'd watched over the years as people in his life came and went, never imagining she'd be important enough to him to add to the pain. And then Gaza happened.

It had killed her to leave, so abruptly but she'd had no choice. He hadn't made any moves to stop her leaving, he appeared to have given up helping her and so she gave up waiting for him.

So after Gaza she thought their chance had gone, she was certain they were never going to be together the way she craved. She knew seeing Colin at her bedside threw Josh, but then she supposed if he'd known that ten minutes after sleeping with Colin she'd been out of bed writing to Josh things might have been different. However, it wasn't down to her to say something - she was still his assistant and had she made any moves that he would have wanted, or had to reject, the walls of Jericho would have come tumbling down.

The signs had been there, like always, screaming at her but she'd played her part, done her duty and ignored it as much as possible. And she hurt them both in the process. She had slept with Colin because she wanted to, but she could never get Josh out of her mind.

She knew, the moment she saw him at her bedside that all her feelings were requited, but she also knew that actually acknowledging whatever the hell they were feeling for each other then would have been fatal. They weren't ready, either of them.

She still woke sweating and screaming with nightmares; but amidst all the pain knew that her healing process was progressing well. People had been so kind to her after; she had help and she was going to be ok.

But she had missed him in those months after. She had hated him and loved him in equal measure. Loved him for sending her and hated him for holding her back in the first place. Loved him for flying half way round the world to be at her side and hated him for leaving it when she got back. Loved him for caring so deeply and hated him for running so far.

It had taken every ounce of courage she had to walk into his office and ask for a job after the convention. And when he'd told her that he missed her, it had taken everything she had left not to break down in front of him at the tacit admission of his feelings. For the first time she'd known he was not missing an assistant, he was missing her. The crack in his voice as he said those words had broken her heart all over again.

Perhaps that was why, when she had joined the Santos team, she'd been welcomed with open arms by his staff regardless of her stint on the Russell campaign. They'd seen the look of utter devastation on her face as she hurried from his office.

"Enough," she whispered to herself. They'd found their way back to each other and she had done her wallowing, her blaming him and herself. Why was she going over old ground? Uncertainty on how to proceed perhaps? She knew better than to assume a few passionate nights in the arms of the man she loved would be enough, but it was closer than anything else had ever been. Now was the time for something else. She did love him and it was okay to admit that now, to herself and, soon, to him.

And then, almost as if he'd been waiting for the end of internal monologue, she felt his eyes on her again. She'd spent so many years watching him and loved to find that she could still tell when he was looking at her. She turned around and leaned back on the railing and sure enough found him watching her.

"Hey," she mouthed to him.

"Hey."

They could only have been ten feet apart but all of a sudden it felt too far. She couldn't fight this draw to him; she'd been trying to get him to open up, to navigate the way in this new part of their relationship, but he was hard to resist, all crumpled and sleepy.

She stooped to pick up the breakfast tray and wandered across to his bed, placing the tray on the bedside table. She turned and sat down on the bed while he stayed on his side curling around her, his legs alongside her thigh and his hand snaking around her waist.

"Morning," he said simply. "Sleep okay?"

"I did, you?"

"Yes," he replied, yawning but she could tell he meant it.

"Juice?"

"Yes, please." He shifted and sat up against the headboard, his hand tracing around the small of her back, continuing his new obsession of being in constant contact with her.

She poured him a glass of juice and handed it to him and watched as he closed his eyes and drank. He was so sleepy and ruffled and Donna knew in that moment she would gladly bring him coffee in bed every morning if she just got to be there when he woke up.

"Come here," he said pulling her up the bed. She leaned across his lap, supporting herself with one arm by his side, and he drew his knees up to support her back.

"Morning."He said again, softer this time, but grinning at her. He tasted like orange juice.

…………………….

At the risk of being a walking, well, lying down, cliché, he could get used to this.

"So in nearly ten years you have, bought me coffee probably three times, yet today I get breakfast in bed….quite a leap.

"I've brought you coffee in the last ten weeks."

"When?" he ask incredulously.

"Election Day."

He thought about it; She had bought him coffee that morning. He'd made a mental note to tease her about it but in the bedlam that followed he'd forgotten. She'd known how he took his coffee and hadn't chastised him for three sugars. He thought it had been a sign of impending doom.

"So you did." He acknowledged as he waggled an eyebrow.

"Stop it."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were going to."

He shrugged, knowing she was right. "Thank you."

"No problem." And then she kissed him again.

………………..

"I'm taking a shower," she stated, suddenly pulling away but giving him a conciliatory grin.

He looked at her expectantly.

"A shower alone." Expectant changed to disappointment. "Fifteen minutes on my own Josh, you'll manage without me."

He sighed dramatically. "What will I do? No TV, no paper?"

She rolled her eyes at him; she could bring the drama queen. "Go sit on the balcony. It is beautiful out there. Relax, Josh, rest. That is what you are here to do. You're on vacation."

He had that confused look on his face again, so she acquiesced and leaned in kissing him gently and then stood. All the time he was holding her hand as if she was some sort of lifeline; She was unnerved by it and enjoyed it at the same time. She backed away and their hands dropped

free of each other. Turning around she rustled through her luggage,pulled out her bathroom bag, some clothes and went in, closing the door behind her.

She used the facilities and stood to look in the mirror. Damnit that he could look so sexy and peaceful and yet she looked exhausted and had ridiculous bed hair. She turned on the shower and let the hot water steam up the bathroom a bit. This was a shower she was going to enjoy and luxuriate in. Of course, to have Josh in here would have been quite pleasant, but this morning she wanted to take her time. She would be sensible about this as rushing him, basing whatever this was just on sex and not getting down to the talking bit, would be disastrous.

…………..

Her resolve was almost undone in about three seconds after she left the bathroom, finding him on the balcony with his back to her, leaning on the railing, looking out to the sea. He'd put on a pair of shorts but had left his top bare. Just the view of his muscular back made her want to run over and rip of her own clothes, hop up on the rail and let him take her.

She didn't think the neighbours would appreciate the view.

She settled for wrapping her arms round him from behind and leaning onto his warm soft back.

"Hey" he said, in that soft voice that had almost unravelled her so many times previously. When he woke to find her by his bedside the first time after Rosslyn, when she woke to find him by her bedside in Germany, and last night when she slid into her seat beside him on the plane.

He turned slowly and wrapped his arms around her. They stood there silently for a few minutes, just enjoying the warmth and each other. Today could turn out to be a day of firsts. This was their first embrace as a couple, not jumping in excitement, sighing in relief or anything else, just enjoying each other's company and proximity.

"My turn," he said indicating the bathroom with his chin then kissing the side of her head and slipping out of her embrace.

She watched him go off towards the bathroom, her skin itching for his touch – shivering involuntarily at the lack of having him near. He was slipping into this new level of intimacy well, which pleased her. He was the one who was meant to be having trouble negotiating this new ground. She was the one who sat him down and gave him the ultimatum.

And then it struck her – she realised for the first time since he had asked her to come away with him that he had answered the ultimatum. He had given her an answer, and with it everything she wanted, inevitably scaring her to death, explaining her little mind meltdown this morning.

She trusted him and she wanted him – now she had to let herself love him and learn to throw off the camouflage she'd developed over so many years. It was okay now, they could be together and he apparently wanted it as much as she did.

She missed him and he was only in the bathroom! Laughing at herself, she decided there was only one way to deal with being in love with Josh Lyman, and that involved taking everything one step at a time. And that could start with unpacking.

……………………

A little while later they were strolling through town, having decided to get out of the apartment and "do the sight seeing thing". They were chatting happily about the place they were in, joking about how long it had actually been since either of them had had a proper vacation. The conversation was easy and the relief they found in this was obvious to each of them, though neither mentioned it to the other.

They wandered through hot and dusty narrow streets lined with boutiques and trinket shops. Donna delighted at the quaint town market, how it appeared to be selling what people needed, rather than leather goods and sneakers designed for the undiscerning tourist.

What gave her more delight than anything else was how he took her hand and put his body in front of hers, pushing through the crowds in the narrow pathways between the stalls. She had been used to his hand in the small of her back, guiding her when she worked as his assistant. Reluctantly, she had drown accustomed to not touching when they met on the campaign trail, and after on the Santos campaign. Even after they slept together. She'd tried to show him that intimacy could work, the soft insistent kiss she'd given him leaving his apartment, was it only a day or so ago? This new thing he had about holding her hand whenever possible was odd to reconcile but she was certainly enjoying it.

Suddenly they broke free of the throng and found themselves on the beach itself.

"Paddle?" She asked.

Josh smiled with unrefined glee and pulled her towards the sea. They were

both laughing by the time they got to the wet sand and pulled off their shoes. He rolled up the legs on his khaki pants while Donna tucked the tasselled edge of her sarong into the legs of her bikini. Taking her hand again, he led them ankle deep into the surf and they sloshed through the warm waters.

She didn't want to break the mood, having never seen him so relaxed in the ten years she'd known him, but she'd earmarked today for having The Talk. However, as she watched the tension drain from him, watched the smiles reach his eyes again, she just didn't want to go there. He was here with her and The Talk was getting more and more redundant. Her little epiphany earlier that she was finally here with him had taken the urgency out of the situation. They would need to talk about certain things for sure, big things like the level of commitment they wanted from each other, and little things like how everything was going to work back in DC – okay so maybe that was big too. Maybe they'd see if they got through a week together first. Which was turning out to be a major consideration; he wasn't watching where he was going, he was too busy staring at her and she had a feeling he might not make it back in one piece. He had nearly tripped over his own feet three times already.

…………………..

He couldn't keep his eyes off her, and any minute now he was going to step on a rock or a fish or something and skewer his foot. But he just had to watch her: her face, her legs. He could now watch her openly without fear of all hell breaking loose and he was going to revel in that freedom. He hated being the stereotypical man, but that's what he was.

As they walked he could feel his body reacting to her proximity and found himself glad for his loose pants he had on disguised the beginnings his arousal. This didn't bode well for the days in the office when he's be wearing a suit. He didn't think his face would be recognised out here, his ego didn't quite stretch that far, but it couldn't hurt to be cautious and fight the urge to throw her down and take her right there and then.

He slung an arm round her shoulder and settled for having her pressed close against him. She raised her hand and linked her fingers through the hand draped round her shoulder as they splashed along the beach together.

……………..

They'd had a light lunch at a café with a sea view - the warmth of the day lessening already altered appetites. The campaign trail and transition had played havoc with every part of their lives. They were still sleep deprived, and what sleep they had been getting wasn't at the normal times of day. They had been eating what they could when they could and it wasn't ever healthy. Donna had expressed an interest in going for a swim; They had a snappy debate over whether exercise would help snap their body clocks back into place, so when they returned to DC they might be within the realms of normality. They decided to head back to the apartment to collect towels and costumes. She said she couldn't comprehend the idea of using the pool or even why it was there, though Josh had made a fair point that meant they wouldn't get salty. When she suggested they split up, her to the sea, him to the pool, she was secretly delighted that he balked at the idea.

She loved the feeling of his body against hers as they wandered back to the hotel, his arm around her shoulder, their fingers intertwined. This relaxation around each other was so unexpectedly effortless. And it was turning her on. She was framing how best to suggest another form of exercise altogether when they got to the front door of their apartment but it seemed that he had read her mind.

They got through the door and immediately he was pressed up against her, grinding his hips into hers and backing her into the closing door. He found her lips and they kissed deeply, hands roaming everywhere they could reach. She managed to break one hand free as she reached down and turned the key in the lock.

They stumbled back towards the bed together, tearing at clothes as they went. They hit the bed and fell together, rolling and grabbing and biting and moaning. The urgency was back, the desire unbridled and she was overjoyed, that they could want each other in so many different ways.

She watched him as he suckled at her breast, hands kneading the soft flesh, and she rocked her hips up into his chest. He got the message and pulled her panties down her legs, tossing them over his shoulder with a grin. She laughed and grabbed his shoulders, maneuvring him up and over her as she scooted back across the bed. He ran his hand up the inside of her legs and swept his fingers across her already wet centre, then bringing his fingers up to his lips. He left them there and bent down to capture her lips against his, his fingers still between them, sharing her taste. There was an edge of decadence to the way they touched each other and yet it didn't intimidate her. She could let herself go with him unlike anyone before.

"Josh. Now." She heard herself demand, wrapping her legs firmly around his waist so he had no choice but to sink into her and begin to move.

…………………

Donna was tight and hot; the way she gripped at him from within he thought he might lose what little of his mind he had left. Nothing he had ever experienced before touched this, being with Donna, but then he hadn't ever been in love before. Not like this. Not so completely and utterly and eternally. He ground into her, keeping his pace steady and even, because if he sped up one iota this was going to be over. He watched her face, fascinated as she watched him back moaning in pleasure at the friction of his thrusting. He shifted up slightly and changed the angle, pushing himself up on his arms. She clawed at his chest as his every stroke rubbed against her clit. She whimpered and moaned his name. "Yes Josh, please yes. "

Maybe he was going insane or else how was he holding on so long? This was torture, exquisite torture, but he wanted to wait for her, he wanted them to come together. He lowered his hand between them and stroked her firmly, and as she increased her cries he found himself moaning and chanting along with her, pounding into her harder and faster as she slammed her hips up to meet his in a relentless race to the finish.

"Donna?" He groaned through clenched teeth.

"Now Josh." Their cries mingled together as they came tumultuously together, as hard and as fast as they had been crashing into each other.

He collapsed on top of her and quickly rolled to one side, again keeping hold of her hand. They lay tangled together, breathing heavily, chests rising and falling against one another.

……………………….

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he said after a minute, gathering her up against him.

"God, me too," she replied, tilting her head back from its position against his moist chest so she could look him in the eye, then whispered conspiratorially, "let's do it again."

Josh laughed out loud and she loved him more. She could count on her fingers the times she heard him laugh like that in the past couple of years.

"Ok, but you're gonna have to give me a minute."

"No problem. Let's move though while I wait!"

He scowled playfully at her, but levered himself away as they moved to the centre of the bed. They leaned against the headboard and wrapped their arms around each other.

"This is amazing, Donna."

She loved that sound of satisfaction and relaxation in his voice. Her body thrummed at his touch and she was more than ready for round two, but was content to rest here a while in his embrace. She sighed as he kissed the side of her head and brushed her damp hair off her cheek. He was so tender, after having filled her in every way imaginable. She loved this man with her whole heart and that wasn't just the post coital glow talking. She wanted to tell him so badly but this wasn't the time.

He had to already know that she loved him, probably had known a long time, so she knew that he was going to have to be the one to voice that particular emotion first. Because she wasn't sure he'd ever told anyone that before.

"Yeah, amazing begins to cover it."

………………………………

"So we gonna make this work then?" The words were out of his mouth before he'd really thought about them. Was he instigating The Talk, he'd been so studiously avoiding? It must be the sex, the pheromones, something.

"Yes Josh, we'll make it work."

He waited.

Well, that was concise and not what he was expecting. He had expected the floodgates to open – maybe he was meant to say something else?

No, they were never game players, terrible at getting to the point while adeptly camouflaging their feelings about each other but, they didn't play games and they weren't starting now.

He had to get used to this being him and Donna. Him and Donna, and that was going to make all the difference in the world. Not him and anyone else, not Amy, certainly not Mandy, both of whom had enjoyed screwing with his mind when they mood took them. He had not been the perfect partner to them either, and he could certainly shoulder the blame for a large portion of the breakdown in both those relationships. But him and Donna were different from the outset. They were best friends before and above anything else.

He could think of a million things to say to Donna now, none of which seemed entirely appropriate given they were, hopefully, in between bouts of rampant sex. He wanted to tell her he loved her. It almost slipped out as he watched her on the balcony this morning, almost as she held him last night. But he wanted it to not be an emotive reaction to a situation, as if not saying I love you because of emotion wasn't an oxymoron.

"C'mere." He settled again for just pulling her closer if that was at all possible and kissing her deeply. "That's good news. We should issue a press release."

"The campaign's over Josh, we won."

"That we did, in more ways that one."

"Cheesy."

"Yeah, but it works for me."

"Not really."

"Ready for round two?"

………………………….

"Sure, but I need a shower."

"Now?"

"Yes Josh, it's been a full 8 hours since my last shower, I've walked through a dusty market, through a salty sea and just got very hot and sweaty with you. Come on, let's go get showered. I have to get clean."

"Donna, if you take me in there with you, getting clean is not going to be high on my list of priorities."

Grasping his hands, she leaned back and pulled him up from the bed.

He smirked at her as the sheet dropped away revealing the renewal of his arousal. She rolled her eyes but yanked him towards the bathroom, leaving him in no doubt, washing wasn't high on her list of priorities.

She knew she'd just given him a treat, a glimpse of how much she was attracted to him. But she her toes curled at the look of excitement and lust on his face and she loved that she could to that to him. Loved the fact that Joshua Lyman, one of the most powerful, intelligent, and influential men in the world had, in his eagerness, just tripped over his own feet as she dragged him bodily into the bathroom.

She released his hands and leaned over the edge of the ridiculously but conveniently large bath, turning on the shower. Suddenly, but not unexpectedly, he grasped her around the waist and ground himself into her from behind. Pushing her hips back into him, he was forced to bend and took the opportunity to drag his teeth and lips down over her shoulder. She reached behind her, wrapping her hands around him and he instantly stilled.

"Donna," he managed through gritted teeth as he thrust unapologetically forward in her hands.

"C'mon" she murmured releasing him and stepping back into the stream of water. She leaned her head back, letting the water cascade through her hair. Josh just stood there, open-mouthed, watching the water slide and fall over her breasts, running down her thighs until finally she had to reach out and tug him forward by the shoulder. He was instantly against her and she wound her arms around him. He seemed to have a fascination with her neck; get him within striking distance and his lips seemed magnetically drawn to the flesh, just beneath her ear.

Another surge of boldness ran through her and she had to react to it; slithering around, she turned in his arms as his hands continued to roam over her body. She put her hands up against the wall and braced herself, pushing her hips back towards him.

"Like this?" he questioned. She responded by pushing against him again, the

need for tenderness gone, wanting him inside her.

Josh murmured his adoration and appreciation as he snaked his arms around

her waist and raised her onto the balls of her feet. He held her hips in place as he bent his knees slightly. and then rose thrusting completely inside her in one stroke.

"Now, Josh," and he began to rock into her, again and again, both of them panting and moaning. Her hands pressed flat against the wall, one of his cupping her breast, the other teasing her between the wet curls between her legs. He started slamming up and into her; she began to burn as he hit that spot and she felt her climax rapidly approach.

"Faster," she moaned and he complied.

………….

This was something he had dreamed about too many times to count. He could tell she was almost there, his own orgasm having been held off by nothing but sheer force of will, but he couldn't wait anymore. He moved the hand cupping her breast and sharply pinched her nipple. She screamed and they both tumbled over the edge.

Her held her body up as the last few pulses of her orgasm rippled around him, which took considerable effort given that his knees were on the verge of buckling. He slipped out of her as she straightened up and turned to face him. He stared at her as they regained their breath.

"That was amazing, Donna. You are amazing."

She kissed him hard on the mouth and squeezed his ass. "You're not too bad yourself. Come on, let's get clean. Shampoo." She commanded as she handed him a bottle.

"Yes ma'am," he said, taking the bottle and pouring some of the lavender scented blue liquid into the palm of his hand. She stayed facing him this time, but again threw her head back, flickering her eyes shut in the stream of water as he lifted his hands and rubbed his fingers through her hair.

……………..

**Go on...click that review button...you know you want to!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: This is a longer chapter and I hope a good continuation. I wanted to flashback to a few scenes that I felt were missing from Transition (though I obviously put my own spin on them!)...a bit more angst in this one, some resolution on issues, and yes...the L word might make an appearance ;)**

**Thanks to all submitting feedback...please keep on doing so, it gives me the courage to keep posting...and shortly I'll need some reader input :)**

**Disclaimer - oops, not put any in until now, but if you think I own these lovely people, you're even more deluded than me :)**

Chapter 3

How they managed to get out of the shower without breaking it, or themselves, she'd never know. But she did know she was hungry, really hungry.

While Josh was still pottering about in the bathroom, she took off the hotel robe and slipped on a long light blue cotton dress. She put on a pair of flat sandals and went to the balcony to wait for him. Running her fingers through her damp hair, she pulled it back into a loose ponytail. Donna knew her hair would dry curly, she actually quite liked her hair with its natural wave, but it had always seemed too messy for work. Back when she worked in the West Wing she had been trying so hard to portray the ultra professional, using her appearance to mask how often she felt out of her depth. These days she was one of the crowd for her skills and knowledge, rather than who she worked for. She was happy to relax and bringing a bit more of natural self to the foreground.

Will had once asked her how she managed to look so flawless at 5am after having had two hours sleep. She'd changed the subject, unsure as to whether Will had been hitting on her which, while flattering, had always made her vaguely uncomfortable.

She couldn't be too relaxed though, she still had to be immaculately turned out. It was all part of her disguise, hopefully drawing attention away from how, sometimes, she still felt completely overwhelmed by the rapid turns of her life. But then, she reasoned, everyone did that to some extent.

She supposed she could be counted as a veteran of campaigns now, having been through three, even though for most of this last one she had been working without a net, without him. But she'd survived and thrived and this thing between them was all happening because of her choice to leave the White House.

It upset her that things had become so awkward whenever they met on the trail – but it was the night of the Republican Convention that she realised their friendship had slipped further than she'd thought.

She had been teasing Josh about Will being the one to teach her politics, but the attempt backfired. He was yelling at a TV in the middle of a public bar and automatically she found herself becoming his burden sharer again. It seemed natural to banter with him about the Ticket, and he had truly seemed to respect her view, which pleased her enormously.

But the look of confusion and hurt she saw on his face, as she glanced over her shoulder, shook her.

She hadn't thought he would take the comment to heart, and it burned that she hadn't been able to predict his reaction. On one hand, she thought he needed to hear that she was learning from someone other than him. She was actually teaching a few people a few things and was no longer tied to his apron strings. Will had, in a heartbeat, given her the opportunity she'd been asking Josh for years.

But she truly hadn't meant to hurt him, with her comment, or actions. Maybe it was for her own benefit that she'd said it, fighting the natural instinct to protect him from himself, trying to distance herself from him because she found herself missing him.

Between the eighteen-hour days, congressional hearings, shootings, censure, filibusters, explosions, jealousy, spoiled dates, and apparent indifference, he had remained her best friend and she missed him desperately.

He had committed a federal crime to cover for her, he flew half way around the world to be at her bedside, and he had let her stay on the Santos campaign when he had sound political reasons to overrule Lou's decision to hire her.

That night, she had cried herself to sleep.

She wasn't back to being the wide eyed naïve girl from Wisconsin - she was going to be Chief of Staff to the First Lady, but she found herself once again in awe of him. And she was happy about it, no longer seeing it as a weakness, but as a manifestation of her feelings for him. There was no overstating it, he was incredibly important on the world stage, but now so was she. They were going to be partners in so many ways.

She looked over her shoulder at him as he came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped round his waist and sighed, glad when he didn't notice her wistful gaze. She turned back to face the setting sun and listened to him move as he busied himself about the apartment, unpacking and getting dressed. A few minutes later he wandered out to the balcony and pressed his lips against her bare shoulder. She leaned back against him as he wrapped his arms round her waist, raising her arm behind his head, and running her fingers through his damp hair.

"Ready for some dinner?" He asked softly, nuzzling her neck, pressing his lips to her skin.

"Sure." She whispered back, shivering as he ran his fingers up and down her

arm before finally threading his fingers together with hers. He raised her hand above her head and spun her around slowly to face him, as if to dance. She arched against him, placing a gentle kiss against his lips, chaste and demure in stark contrast to the earlier fervour.

"Let's go," he said, reluctantly breaking away and tilting his head towards the door.

She ran her hand across his shoulders and followed him through the apartment, pausing briefly to grab her shoulder bag and automatically holding her hand out for his proffered wallet. Maybe old habits always die hard, she thought as they left the room hand in hand.

…………………………………………

Josh didn't want to risk anything by saying it out loud, but he felt like he was calming down, having noticed that he didn't have the throbbing headache that had been his almost constant companion of late. Here he was walking into a beach-side restaurant, on a Caribbean Isle, with no sense of urgency, no sign of fifty people clamouring for his immediate attention, no one to think about other than himself and this beautiful woman on his arm. Nothing could be more alien to him, but nothing had ever felt so right.

Was it only twenty-four hours ago that he had nearly taken Otto out, and himself in the process? He had a lot to thank Sam for, and he promised he would make sure Sam knew that.

He had at least four more years in the White House ahead of him; they'd just got through one marathon and were heading straight for another one. Nothing in the pending madness was certain, but as the waiter pulled Donna's chair out and she smiled, he realised something irreversible had happened in the past day.

A day ago, he had his future shown to him and he hated what it looked like. Dedicated to the cause or not, he didn't want to be alone anymore. His insides twisted horribly at how close he had come to losing her because of his masochistic streak.

He made a silent promise - before this evening was over, he was going to tell her just how permanent he saw them being.

He was getting geared up to define them, finally realising it was up to him. Funny how just watching her smile could bring revelation.

It unnerved him that he couldn't feel the normal shifting of gears he usually felt when he identified a goal and how to achieve it. He was going to have to wing it and instigate The Talk; he knew it was time for him to quit being a jackass about everything and just tell her. What the hell had happened today that hadn't happened yesterday?

…………………………………………..

**36 hours before**

"Make the call."

Standing there, alone in his own office, Sam's words rang in Josh's' ears. He was shaking, actually more like shuddering and the sound of his blood coursing around his body was deafening. He forced himself to unclench his fists, take deep breaths, and sit.

He tried to focus on his blackberry and found his vision swimming. He rubbed his temples hard with his thumbs, screwed his eyes shut, and finally blew out a long sigh. He raised his head, wincing against the sudden movement, not to mention the light streaming through the window, and it struck him how much like shit he felt.

"Make the call."

Clarity was something that didn't happen often to most people. While he was

used to being thoroughly convicted about ethics, politics – to the extent that he could influence the course of history, he wasn't used to clarity. In his experience, his personal life was never free of doubt. Until now.

There was only one person he wanted to speak to right now.

……….

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Hey."

"Where are you?"

"I'm with Mrs. Santos. I took the job. We're just…"

"Stay there, don't leave."

"Ok?"

Click.

………….

Donna's head was bent over a file on her lap, her blonde hair gleaming in the watery November sunshine. His hand was poised to knock on the wooden doorframe, but he became still when he saw her face screwed up in concentration. She had her legs crossed and tapped one foot in a silent rhythm as she concentrated on the document before her, making furious notes as if her mind was working faster than she could write.

He was so proud of her, but finally not in an "I did that" way. He realised that he had always been a bystander in the rise of Donnatella Moss. He remembered how she yelled to his face when Lou had shoved them in a room together. He'd been angry then, but was later dumbstruck that she was back and still not taking his shit. How the hell he'd got that far through the campaign without her was a mystery. She strode back into his life and turned him the right way up seemingly without trying.

No, he was proud in a "she's amazing and I'm glad she figured it out and did it herself" way.

And now watching her, he felt intimidated, and he had no idea what to say to this confident, beautiful, dynamic woman who was also happened to be his best friend. And lover. He made his money talking, why was he finding it so hard to open his mouth and speak words in some sort of order?

"Josh, are you coming in or what?"

He took a sharp intake of breath at the jolt of longing that ran through him; she could feel his presence even though there way no way for her to have seen him. It was enough to convict him as he walked purposefully across the room.

She stood to meet him, dropping the file behind her on the chair and boldly meeting his gaze. Not stopping to say or ask anything, he just grabbed the back of her head and crushed his lips against hers. She moaned quietly against his lips and opened her mouth to him.His hands cupped her face, hers gripping his arms as their kiss became more urgent.

"Donna? I'd like to get your opinion on….oh….God, sorry…." stammered Helen Santos as she entered from an adjoining office.

They immediately jumped apart, Donna smoothing down the front of her jacket in a self-conscious gesture. Josh automatically snapped to attention acknowledging Mrs. Santos' presence, who for her part was apologising profusely and hurrying out of the room

"Wait, Mrs. Santos?"

She stopped, turned slowly on the spot and walked back in, her blush fading to be replaced by a sly grin.

"Yes, Josh?"

"Ahh, umm, I was wondering if there was any way, you could, err, part with Donna."

Donna turned her head sharply towards him, and he looked at her seeing confusion and, if he wasn't mistaken, indignation. Oops, wrong choice of words. "Sorry, I mean lend me Donna?"

Not any better.

He knew what she would be thinking, but there was no way he wanted to poach her for his staff. She'd made it perfectly clear she couldn't, wouldn't work for him again under any circumstance. When he'd spent more than fifteen seconds thinking about it, he had realised how impractical and unfair it would have been to have her work for him again. Not to mention she didn't want to. He reached out and rubbed her arm, with what he hoped was a reassuring look.

"I was hoping to persuade her to take a break with me. Ahh, well you see I've been pretty much ordered to take a vacation." He stammered with a little hesitation.

He saw Donna's expression change out of the corner of his eye. It went from incredulity, through relief, finally settling on a brilliant grin that lit the room. He took that as a good sign. "I was desperately hoping she'd keep me company and make sure I come back in one piece. If that's ok?" he said echoing his earlier question to her husband.

Helen's eyes went from Donna to Josh and back again, realisation spreading across her face. She wasn't blind, she'd seen them together and knew some of their history, bits and pieces she'd gleaned from staffers. But she'd also seen the looks on Donna's face throughout this conversation and had a fair idea of how significant this was. She wasn't really sure if Josh's last question had been for her or Donna, but she knew without doubt what the answer would be from both of them.

"Sure Josh, that's a remarkable idea. I take it that was an order from my husband, so who am I to object. Donna, see you in…"

" A week," Josh answered.

"A week it is. Have a great time!" And knowing when her presence was no longer required, she made deliberate eye contact with Donna and walked back into the office, closing the double doors behind her.

Josh turned to Donna, eyebrows raised mentally steeling himself for whatever came next.

"So," Donna whispered, "What do I need to pack?"

His shoulders sagged in relief and he slipped his arms around her waist, dropping his head onto her shoulder. She gently slid arms around his neck and embraced him.

"I'm so tired, Donna. I'm tired of being tired, tired of being me, and tired of being without you. Come on vacation with me."

She pulled her head back and he saw tears in her eyes. Raising her hand she cupped his cheek and he twined his fingers with hers and he turned his head placing a soft kiss to the palm of her handand as he twined his fingers with hers

That's not a great rephrasing, sorry about that, but it needs to be rephrased somehow.

"Let's get out of here before they change their minds." And he tugged her towards the door. (How about, '…minds," he said as he tugged her toward the door'?)

…………………………………….

**Present day.**

They conversed easily over dinner, sharing a bottle of wine and she had even let him have a bite of her chocolate dessert. They tried hard, and almost managed, to keep the conversation away from workand they almost managed. There was gossiping and laughing about campaign mishaps and she'd told him stories about the Russell campaign that he wouldn't have believed from anyone else.

He watched her as she reminisced, laughed and relaxed in her chair, her hands resting gently on her stomach, as content as he'd ever seen her. It was infectious. They were reconnecting and without the professional wall between them the ease of their friendship came to the forefront

He suggested coffee but she shook her head and indicated the beach. Paying for the meal, he paused to ask the waiter for a favour. He walked back to the table and held up the second bottle of wine and two plastic glasses. She grabbed her purse and they walked together out of the restaurant and onto the sand.

…………………..

She was laughing again, carrying her sandals in one hand and holding his elbow with the other and she was laughing!

"Can you imagine CJ's face when I tell her that I strolled arm in arm with Josh Lyman along a Caribbean beach by moonlight?"

"She'll never believe it. And hey, no gossiping with CJ. I have a …you know….reputation to protect."

She laughed even louder. "Ok sweetheart."

He stopped dead, his stomach having rushed into his mouth and back down again.

"What?" She asked timidly, though judging by her sly grin she knew exactly why he'd stopped. He wasn't about to give her the satisfaction

so just kissed her quickly and firmly and swung back around. He tried to act nonchalant until she actually giggled so he rolled his eyes at her.

They wandered well out of town to be assured of being alone, and far enough away from the buildings to be able to see the stars clearly again.They passed their hotel and when he thought they'd walked far enough he stopped, gesturing at a spot on the sand to sit. They settled down next to each other, Donna tucking her skirt under her legs. There was no reason to think she'd be cold but he looked at her just to make sure.

"So," she said, accepting a glass of wine he poured for her, "you trying to get me drunk, Joshua?"

He shook his head at her use of his full name. It had always felt different when she did that; she was usually admonishing him for something or, longer ago, when she was caring for him.

"A toast?" He said, lifting his glass. She raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed dramatically. "Donna, you know how completely useless I am at all things romantic, throw me a bone here."

"I'm sorry, you're right, you are useless at romance," she conceded his point.

He stared at her and she at least had the decency to duck her head and be slightly embarrassed at her taunting.

"Ahem." He cleared his throat dramatically and raised his glass. "To you and me."

She looked up at him, her eyes betraying a little surprise at the simplicity of his toast, but smiled and touched her glass to his.

"To you and me." They took sips of their wine and she leaned over and pressed her lips gently against his.

……………………………..

"Donna," he whispered against her mouth. "There is so much I want to say to you but I am going to mess this up so I'd appreciate it if you just let me talk for a while, forget everything I say that comes out wrong, pretend I am saying the right thing when I'm not and then when I'm done, just kill me. Ok?"

She nodded simply, not allowing his self-deprecation detract from the fact he was opening up to her. He shifted out of her reach, feeling this would go better if he wasn't distracted by her warmth. He drew a long deep breath to steady his last few nerves and began.

"I've been aware for a long time that I've been out of control. Of course I chose to ignore that and fix bigger problems, like the country. I've been running on adrenalin for so long I'm not so sure my body is capable of making anymore.

"I'm a mess. I haven't grieved for Leo, barely ever grieved for my father, and I need to desperately. I've been trying to fix everything except me, building walls around myself. Now I have an ounce of clarity and can look at myself from the outside, I can see I have been in self-destruct mode. Again."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, not sure at all what he was saying was coming out right. This was too negative, he wanted this to be about her, not him, but needed her to know he was aware of the problems they faced. He took another sip of wine and continued.

"It took your ultimatum and Sam's righteous anger to wake me up. I am blessed, so richly to have the friends I do and once again Donna, it was those friends that pulled me back from the brink.

He paused again, finding this so very hard. She reached out and touched the fringe of his hair and he looked up into her eyes and the support he saw in her eyes gave him courage to continue with the hardest things he needed to say.

"It doesn't excuse my behaviour but when you got hurt…when you nearly died, everything about my pain came back. When you needed help, I found myself lacking. I couldn't be there for you like you'd been there for me and I was disgusted with myself. So when you came back to work it was like I could see the future. One way or another you were going to leave me so I just buried my head so it would happen quicker. And I am so sorry for the hurt I caused you then.

"You've worked for me and with me for nearly a decade, and for some inexplicable reason that hasn't led to you hating my guts. And if there weren't a million other reasons, that one would still mean you're the most incredible thing in my life."

He took her hand in his, and squeezed it. She closed her hand over his and rubbed the back of his knuckle gently.

"I'm so proud of you for who you are, who you always were, what you've become and what you're going to do. I hate myself for every time I made you feel like you were worth less than you are. And I know I did that a lot. And I am sorry."

She suddenly let go of his hand and cupped his cheek, smoothing her thumb across his dimple, letting him know she accepted his apology, but silently acknowledging she knew he wasn't finished yet. Her caress offered him acceptance and urged him on again.

"I'm going to regain control in my life and I will succeed because I want to be healthy, I want to be strong and I want to do my job well. I can't be the man I was as Deputy to be Chief of Staff. I have to be better; I have to do more for the President-Elect, for the country, for President Bartlett, for Leo, for my father, and for you.

"I don't ever want to use you again Donna, but I am going to need you so much. I apologise in advance of every stupid thing I am ever going to do.

"The other night at my place when you said I don't know what this is between us you were right. I didn't. But I do now. I want this, you and me, to happen." He smiled broadly, relief flooding his body as he finally acknowledged the feelings he had been suppressing for years.

"I haven't found a secret that will make me good at relationships. I don't know how to make you happy, but I want to try. But I hope you'll let me try to make you happy for a very long time."

He blew out a breath, happy that he'd managed to get it all out, reaching out his hand to brush away at tears that slipped silently down her cheeks. As she leaned over to reciprocate, he finally noticed that he was crying too.

……………………………………

"Josh," she began steadily, despite the emotion coursing through her. "None of us have any real control in our lives. Not you, certainly not me. You hold yourself to such a high standard and I understand why you do that, but the standard is only going to increase so know that I already think you are the best of men."

He dropped his head and his shoulders sagged in relief at her words. Tears still spilled down his cheeks and her heart ached for him.

"You blame yourself for things you have no control over because you are grieving even if you don't understand that yet. It seems to me you have always been and we need to recognise that and get through it. You and me, we'll work it out.

Now it was her turn to draw deep steadying breaths. There was so much to say and it was overwhelming, even more so in the light of his declarations. She'd been waiting for those words for years and the weight of responsibility in how she replied now was immense. She had to get this right, one step wrong and she could upset this delicate balance.

"The day I quit was one of the worst of my life. I can't apologise for leaving because it was the right thing to do. But that doesn't stop me being sorry for the way I did it. I was upset and angry and confused and I was directing my grief at you and that was unfair. And for that I am truly, eternally sorry.

"You've been simultaneously a facilitator, encourager, and my best friend, while being an obstacle, burden and distraction." She smoothed the back of her fingers across his cheek to soften the blow of her words. "But I let you be all those things, I let myself get walked over by many people, not just by you and the only person I blame for that is myself. I'm not that person anymore.

"We have hurt each other but that's par for the course with best friends. And you are my best friend. But know this – I'm scared too, of lots of things. If I think too much of the leap I am about to take in my career, I start to shake. I know you feel you were meant to be doing this with Leo, but you absolutely can do this, I believe in you. You've been through so much and you're still here on the other side, we both are, and that's because we've got so much left to accomplish – important things, Josh."

"So listen, I know things were bad between us for a long time but I've missed you so very much. This could never have happened between us before now, we weren't ready but we are now, both of us.

"I don't need to decide to let you make me happy because you already do. Keep on making me happy, Josh, and I'll do everything in my power to do the same for you."

…………………………………………

They gazed steadily at each other; wet faces shining in the starlight until he reached out, pulled her onto his lap, and wrapped himself round her. Burying his face in her hair, inhaling her scent, he sighed raggedly. She slipped her fingers into the collar of his shirt and pulled his face, feeling his rhythmic, warm breath on her neck. She laced one hand into his hair, quietly, tenderly, stroking the back of his neck.

They soothed each other with caresses, kisses, and a tight embrace on the sand. And then he finally crossed that last line. He cupped her face in his hands and touched his forehead to hers.

"I love you Donnatella."

"I love you Joshua."

……………………………….

"Can I take you inside and make love to you now?" He whispered, kissing her face, tasting the salt of her tears.

The depth of his emotion made her feel like this was going to be their first time together. Not able to find words, she nodded against his neck.

He cocked his head to one side, dimples out in full force. "I'd sweep you up and carry you there, but I don't think we'd make it."

She recognised an attempt to lighten the situation. He'd said it first, those little words that she wasn't sure he'd ever said to anyone else.

"Tell me again, Josh."

"I love you."

She couldn't help the wide smile.

So she stood up, unsteadily but relieved they were still joking. He quickly gathered up the wine and glasses from the sand and grasped her waist with his other hand, back to demonstrating that it was entirely possible his life depended on maintaining contact with her.

"I hate being picked up anyway." She said nonchalantly as they started walking towards the hotel.

"You do?" he sounded surprised.

"Yes. Always hated it. I'm too tall, it makes me feel unfeminine, and I always think whoever is doing the picking is going to get hurt!"

"Really?" He sounded as if he had never considered that. "You know, it is one hundred percent impossible for you to be considered unfeminine? You are exquisite, Donna."

"You already got me, Josh. No need to over-do it."

………………………….

He opened the door and let her go into the room first, lit only by moonlight streaming through slits in the lowered blinds. He shut and locked the door and placed the wine and glasses down on the bedside table, then turned and looked at her. They both stood still and quiet, just looking at each other through the darkness.

Then suddenly, as if someone had whispered "go" simultaneously in their ears, they stepped forward and grabbed on to each other, kissing fiercely. His hands tangled in her hair and she gripped his upper arms, his shoulders, his neck. They opened their mouths to each other and their tongues met and swirled, teeth biting lips and moans dissipating into the night.

He lowered his mouth and ran his teeth and lips up her neck. She threw her head back, pressing her chest up into his, leaning back into his hands that supported her shoulders.

"Josh," she moaned. It sounded like the first time she ever said his name. Their love was out there now, they were giving in to the thing they had feared and fought for over a decade. It had been declared and it was pure and it was about to be passionately consummated.

He pulled the strap of her dress down over one shoulder, following the path of it with his lips. She took her hands from where they were tangled in his hair and gripped his shoulders, pressing the full length of her body against his. He located a tie at the side of her dress, undid it, and seconds later the dress was pooled at her feet.

…………………………………..

His knees buckled at the sight of her, bathed in moonlight and glorious and he gave in, dropping to his knees on the floor in front of her.

Her luminescent skin was beautifully smooth, the same as the silk of her underwear, she had an aroma like lavender and the scent that was just her. It had been tantalising him for years without ever letting itself be defined. He laid his cheek against her belly and she tangled her hands in his hair holding him close. He just listened for a moment, to her breathing, to her heart beating. He'd never come close to this feeling before and his heart swelled for the woman in his arms who he had held at a distance for so long, whom he had almost lost and he thanked whoever he could for letting this finally be.

………….

She thought she might cry as her fell to his knees before her. She held his head close and thanked whoever was listening for the second, third and more chances that had brought them to this point.

She rejoiced as his tongue trailing lazily across her belly. She yearned to feel his weight, his masculine body against hers. Part of her felt almost powerful, standing while he tasted her skin, another part felt bereft because he wasn't in her arms. He was trying to prove, without words, that he saw her as an equal, in life and in love.

As breathtaking as it felt, she wanted to be down there with him, past caring if they made love on the hardwood floor. But he was holding her where she was, not letting her get down on her knees and join him.

Her focus shifted as he started to slide her panties down her legs and she whimpered as his teeth and tongue followed them down. He kissed her thighs, knees, calves, ankles and toes then began to repeat his movements in reverse. His hands followed, massaging and stroking her legs as he worshipped her from the ground up. Pushing her legs slightly apart, he replaced his supporting hands on her buttocks and dipped his tongue to her.

It was as if everything else in the world had been blotted out, and all she could do was feel him nuzzle and lick and tease her. He slipped one hand between her legs and dragged his fingertips lazily across her moist folds and grazed her clit with his teeth. He rubbed her, teasing her again and again and she felt the onset of an orgasm that wasn't going to wait to arrive. Nothing had felt like this before.

She managed to focus her eyes enough to look down and see his beautiful soft curls, where her hands rested on his head, not holding him, but just feeling where he was, making sure it was all real. She started to pant and his name escaped her lips over and over. She was there, so near. Nothing, nothing, nothing had felt like this before.

"Josh," she nearly shouted now. He drew his head back and looked up, locking eyes with her as he slid his fingers inside and pushed up towards her abdomen, his thumb pressing firmly where it needed to.

And the waves overtook her.

……………..

He supported her with one hand, while the other pressed into her. As the pulses subsided, he withdrew his hand and stood to help her lower herself on the bed as her knees finally gave way. He crawled up beside her, propped himself up on an elbow and leaned down to kiss her cheek, running a hand across her belly. She lifted her head and caught his lips with hers.

"Looks like I finally did something right," he whispered, grinning widely. She grinned back and ran a thumb across his dimple, bringing him in for another kiss.

……………………………….

"You've got too many clothes on." She finally whispered, releasing his face and pushing him onto his back. She knelt up and straddled his waist, for the moment choosing to ignore his evident arousal. She lowered her fingers to the buttons on his shirt then changed her mind, bringing them to the front clasp on her bra. She undid it and pushed the material off her shoulders letting it drop to the floor behind them.

She batted his hands away from where they had been reaching to her breasts and let him rest them on her thighs instead. She lowered herself over him, drawing a moan. She undid the buttons on his short-sleeved shirt slowly, her lips kissing the skin on his chest as it appeared. She unhooked the final button and he pushed himself up so she could slide it down over his broad shoulders. He lay back on the bed, shirt discarded and staring at her with deep brown eyes she could drown in. Tearing her gaze away, her hands and eyes wandered over his chest until they inevitably came to rest on his scar. Her eyes flicked to his as she realised his hand had found their way to her scars on her leg.

They looked at each other without sadness. They had both nearly lost each other so many times; to other lovers, jobs, disagreements and politics. But these scars indicated something more fundamental, death had threatened them both and they shared that, something few people understood. She watched as he took his hand from her leg and moved it to her side where another scar was fading. He kissed his fingertips and pressed them back against the white lines. She inhaled sharply at the gesture.

"I love you, Josh."

He smiled simply at her and whispered back, "I love you, too."

She leaned down again and kissed his bare chest, just over his scar. She felt him gently caress the back of her head, and she imagined perhaps this was cleansing and healing him more than any therapy ever had.

But now she started her possession of him again, letting him know in no uncertain terms that he belonged to her and her to him. Her nails started to gently drag across the skin of his chest and she nibbled at the sensitive skin around his nipples. She ran her hands across his flat muscular stomach and up the smooth skin on his flanks and she felt him again fight the urge to buck up into her.

Lowering her hands to his waist, she started to undo the tie on his shorts. She slid back down the bed dragging the material down with her, over his erection and onto the floor to join the rest of the crumpled clothes. She looked up at him; they were barely touching and he raised himself up, looking down at her. She got on all fours over his legs and laid herself down, dragging the entire length of her body up and over him, revelling in his groan, resulting from the combined pleasure of feeling her pressed into him and the pressure on his hardness. The friction created as her breasts dragged across his smooth chest was delicious.

…………………….

His hands were gripping the bed sheets determined not to touch her, reasoning that if he did he could only be disappointed because he couldn't touch all of her at once. But then he needed to touch her so much, to make sure this was all still real, that the taste of her on his lips was true and that he finally had everything he could possibly want and more.

And then her lips met his and she sighed into his mouth.

"Make love to me, Joshua."

His eyelids fluttered at the sound of the need in her voice. Now they had said they loved each other once, it seemed she couldn't stop saying it and listening to her declarations, he found he couldn't lie still. He gripped her under the arms, gently and steadily rolling her over onto her back. She gasped loudly as he pressed her back into the bed with the force of his kisses across her breasts. He gathered her up with his hands, smoothing, caressing, kneading while kissing her, biting, grazing, licking

"Be inside me, Josh, please." She begged, her hands roaming everywhere she could touch, mirroring his actions, neither able to get enough of the other without being inside of each other.

"God, Donna," he moaned, raising himself up over her and kissing her again as he sank as deep as possible into her. They became joined in the most intimate way possible and lay still.

"I love you, Josh. Love me."

He stared into her beautiful eyes and began to move.

He pressed himself into her over and over, filling her completely, deep strokes turning them both inside out. Her hands rubbed hard on his back, pushing him up and down into her. Their rhythm was primal and they moaned into each other as he moved, her hips meeting and matching his. They rocked together, he ground as deep into her as he could get and she tightened around him again and again and soon they were both nearing the edge. Blue eyes met brown and they came together both calling each other's name.

………………………………..

He didn't trust himself to speak as they clung on to each other in the dark, hot room. He felt that if he relaxed his hold on her, this whole place might twist and shake and disappear beneath him, the fragile hold he had on life spreading out enclosing him even now. Whatever glue it was holding him together was stretched to breaking point.

"Josh. It's ok." She whispered to his cheek. And then he cried.

……………………………..

She knew, as his sobs abated, that their healing had begun. She had wept silently along with him, wrapping her body tightly round his, soothing his ache with her hands on his back and her lips on his brow.

"I've got you, too, Donna," he whispered, letting her know that he knew she was grieving with him.

She hiccoughed with tears and they curled themselves closer to each other and let the night take them.

………………………………….

**TBC...**

**Please please, please feedback - sorry, I know begging doesn't help! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: **Thank you so much again for your feedback. It really helps - keep pushing that little button :)

There is a bit more angst ahead I'm afraid...and more smushy stuff too though to balance it out!

I thought now might be the appropriate time to give this baby of mine a soundtrack. If you can, listen to Ray LaMontagne's Hold You in my Arms from the amazing album Trouble. That was my inspiration behind this chapter!

Don't forget - reviews are better than sugar and spice and all things nice!

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**Chapter 4**

It was early when Josh woke; dawn had been and gone, but not too long ago. Finding himself separated from Donna, having relocated to their own sides of the bed in the night, he was pleased to find that he was still holding her hand. It seemed even in slumber he was attached to her.

He had told her that he loved her. She'd said it back to him and showed him how much she loved him. They'd shown each other.

After, he became overwhelmed and for the first time in a very long time he cried, with no embarrassment or shame. Donna had held him and wept with him and he loved her more.

He didn't want to leave her but he needed the bathroom, so he left the bed as quietly as he could. He slipped on a pair of boxers and stood by the bed, watching her sleep. He had sworn by her bedside in Germany never to take her for granted again, and had promptly broken his silent vow. He had no intention of making the same mistake again. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her brow, swept her hair behind her ear, and pulled the sheet up over her.

Josh walked onto the balcony and turned one of the chairs around so he could continue to watch over her.

How had he managed to survive, without her in his life for so long? He'd been down in the depths before but she'd reined him in. Donna always had a way of noticing and managing his needs, usually before they became a problem. She had been known to invoke quiet coaxing, stubbornness, anger, and humour to get him to reflect and calm down. God alone knew how he had managed the early parts of the campaign without her.

He was exhausted. Taking the pivotal role in getting a President elected, three times now, had taken its toll, physically and mentally. Two days ago he had barely been able to form a coherent thought, zoning out in meetings, surviving on Tums and coffee, screaming and ranting like a mad man.

He sighed and quickly decided to change tack; drifting into work related thought was not good and if Donna was awake, she'd have kicked his butt.

Donnatella Moss. Finally.

He could barely reconcile the woman in front of him now with the girl she'd been when he found her in his office on the first Bartlett for America campaign.

As soon as he saw her, he knew she was a girl with a shattered self-esteem, looking for a chance. The story of her life, how she bent it to fit what she knew he needed to hear was what sold him – she was anticipating his needs already, barging into his office, his life, and setting up camp.

That first year in office she hit her stride, handling her job and, more importantly him, with immense skill and patience, she'd been assured, confident, and intelligent, and had commanded respect from all angles. Of course the naivety and lack of experience had broken through occasionally, but she learned faster than he did, which also bruised his ego somewhat.

But now these things radiated from her in waves, crashing over anyone who came near. She'd been point person for one of the most powerful people in Washington, but the respect she had received as his assistant was because she was a route to him. It wasn't her fault, it was just unavoidable. Not any more. Now, people shouted her name because they wanted to hear what she had to say.

He yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He couldn't take his eyes off her, she was so Godamn beautiful.

He couldn't allow himself to regret not doing this sooner. Nothing could ever have worked between them while she was his subordinate and neither of them would have risked the administration. He'd found himself fighting off attraction to her so many times over the years.

When she joined the Santos campaign he'd found it surprisingly easy to work with her. She was damn good at her job and, as much as his ego strained against allowing him to admit it, she'd always been more of a foil to him than an assistant. For crying out loud, she'd stopped a filibuster, saved eleven million social security checks, not to mention giving him fresh perspectives on any number of issues. And, he smiled, inadvertently helped him get the first woman in the Chair of the Chief Justice.

The offer of deputy press secretary had not been an attempt at anything – he honestly wanted her for the role.

Shifting forward on the chair, he rested his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair, inhaling sharply and looking up at her again.

Unavoidable, inevitable. He truly couldn't pin down when he started to think of them like that, when he knew that something was going to happen between them at some point. He'd felt the burn of jealousy so many time; maybe if he traced it right back he had a possessive streak since she left him on the first campaign.

It had been just as predictable something would derail their collision course; he just wished it hadn't been an explosion.

There had always rumours about them, their dynamic was obvious to everyone, but whispers became full blown gossip when he'd left the country to run to his assistant's bedside. His absence had been more conspicuous than he imagined Leo had anticipated when he told him to go. White House scandal was always newsworthy, but the peace talks had pushed it deep inside papers.

People, inside and outside the administration took his flight to her as a sign that the rumours had been true all those years. Those stories CJ could head off with a swift and concise 'Josh has been involved in necessary negotiations in Europe.' The unspoken 'and yes he is spending most of his time stapled to his assistant's bedside' didn't go unnoticed by a lot of tabloid rags.

Donna had been spared the worst of the press by being out of the country; the worst of it being an article opining that she'd been pregnant, by him of course, and that she had lost the baby in the explosion. He didn't know if she'd heard that one, he never asked and he knew she wouldn't have told him if she had.

When she returned home, he watched her struggle; he knew the signs. He still knew what it felt like to want to cry at the smallest thing, to get irrationally and uncontrollably angry, to blanch if a door slammed too hard. He was still in therapy six years on. Donna, unsurprisingly, never talked to him about her fear, her grief, or her trauma. He'd seen her scars, but not heard her thoughts. As he told her last night, he'd buried his head to hurry the process of her leaving him. They'd both felt the tug towards each other in Germany, as something permanently changed in their relationship.

She'd said his name as she came round. His name. Not her Mom's, not Colin's, but his.

And so he found himself finally, thankfully, out of excuses when Lou had pointed out his lack of life. His life had been with her for eight years. He'd told her he loved her, and he did with every ounce of strength he had, and now he just had to keep it from slipping away again. Change didn't come easily to him and he'd been terrible at relationships his whole life. But no matter what odds were stacked against them, he was going to fight for this. He could be a realist, an optimist, and still manage idealism - he owed her that.

He linked his hands together and stretched them over his head; sleep patterns still messed up, he found himself drowsy again. He stood and looked out at the sea, drawing deep breaths of sea air and marvelling at how relaxed he felt. Leaning his head down onto the rail, he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling so he could remember it and invoke it.

Suddenly, Josh became aware of the sound of scared whimpers. He spun around and found Donna had curled up in a ball, facing away from him. She was visibly shaking and had kicked off the thin cotton sheet exposing her nakedness. He sprinted to the bedside and grabbed out to her, turning her over, calling her name.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped for air, staring through him. He reached out a hand and brushed sweaty strands of hair off her cheek.

"Donna," he whispered, cupping her face with his hand. She locked her eyes to his and he saw her come to, really wake up and realise where she was. She sobbed and reached out for him. He laid beside her and gathered her close, trying to fight back his own rising panic. He knew those dreams, so well, but he also knew there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop them for her.

He rubbed her shoulders and back soothing her, and as they lay in silence her breathing slowly returned to normal and the shaking ceased. She relaxed in his embrace and he allowed himself to calm down.

"That's the good thing about campaigning," she finally whispered into his chest. "You never sleep enough to dream." She leaned back to look at him and smiled weakly. He smiled back, trying not to show his concern.

"That's true."

"Do you still dream?"

"Sometimes," he said, "but not as often any more, must be six months since my last one." He added, wanting to qualify his admission, not wanting her to think there was no hope of respite. She'd been privy to enough of his nightmares that summer.

"Josh." She whispered. "I still can't believe it happened to me. I know I shouldn't, but I want to shut it out so badly. That seems so disrespectful."

"Disrespectful?"

"People died that day, Josh. I lived and others died."

It finally hit him. Survivors guilt, that was what she was going through, something he never had.

Only the shooters had died at Rosslyn, and he had never been able to muster pity for that loss to mankind. People had been injured, but no one had died like they had in Gaza. Why had he never considered that before?

Now it was his turn to dispense wisdom he knew she already heard, but wasn't sure she really accepted. One thing he did know and could say, having had heard it said to him so many times.

"Donna, you know it wasn't your fault."

"I know," she said, and laced her fingers through his, gripping his hand tightly. "I had to repeat that to myself, like a mantra, and I do believe it. But it is part of the reason I left."

He heard the unspoken "you" at the end of her sentence – the reason I left you.

"Part of the reason?" He didn't want to push her but knew she was asking him to help her get this out.

"I believed I had been given this second chance, or maybe it was my fifth, I don't know," she tried a smile again. "I knew I had to do something more. It was never that what I did for you wasn't important. I know I lashed out at you months ago, hurt you – letting you believe I didn't appreciate what I'd learned from you. I just wanted to do more with the chance I had been given. "

"I understand."

"I never meant to hurt you. I should have explained, I should have talked to you about it."

"You tried, Donna, but I was too busy pushing you away."

She was beginning to ramble now, the words spilling from her faster and faster

"This thing between us, it got so complicated. After Germany I didn't know what we were to each other – I just knew whatever it was wouldn't work if we carried on the way we had been. I would have ended up resenting you. And I didn't want to talk to you because my pain might have brought yours back, and I didn't want to talk to you because I didn't want you to think I was weak. But I wanted to talk to you because you knew what I was going through. I had to engage myself with someone else entirely, something that wasn't you, wasn't what I'd been doing…

"I didn't want to be alone with you in case these feelings I'd been fighting, in case I wasn't strong enough to hide them anymore, in case I didn't have the energy left to be careful. I didn't want to hurt the President."

"Donna."

"I didn't want you to think I needed rescuing, I needed to be me, be strong on my own, I couldn't let you help."

"Donna."

"I couldn't keep coming to work there, the place was making me feel trapped. I owed it to myself and to Admiral Fitzwallace and..and…"

"Donna," he said firmly and she finally realised he was talking. "You are right. It is complicated and we don't have to do this all in one day. You are going to be ok, you already are ok. You are strong and that means it is ok to be weak sometimes."

She nodded, but let a small wry grin cross her face, aimed at his amateur attempt at psychoanalysis he guessed. "I know. I'm just…."

"I know."

She sighed heavily and lay back on his chest. Josh rested his chin on the top of her head and breathed out long and softly. She'd said some important things and he wasn't sure if she knew she'd said them, but he knew. "I should have said something in Germany, after Germany. I shouldn't have let you go"

"It's ok, Josh." She reassured him as the tables turning imperceptibly. "We hurt each other. But if we hadn't been through everything we have been through, we wouldn't be here now. I knew how I felt about you and I thought I knew how you felt about me after Germany, but I couldn't process it. We weren't ready to be together."

He marvelled at how right it was that simple statement surmised what he'd been thinking, another Donna trait – simplifying a matter, boiling it down to its component parts so he could see past the extraneous and see the important. If they hadn't been apart from each other, hadn't been forced to address deep secrets, they wouldn't have ever got here. They had to be apart so they could both grow and prioritise.

"Well your leaving had it's upsides." He smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"You left and I left that day too. All the offers to run campaigns, I'd been thinking about them. You knew that. I'd been thinking what I could do to ensure Democrats kept the White House, who could possibly follow Jed Bartlett. The day you left I went to Texas. As soon as I realised you'd gone for good, I was on a plane."

"You're saying I'm the reason Matt Santos is the next President of the United States?"

He laughed. "I'd like to think he had a little to do with it."

She laughed too.

"I wanted to take you with me."

"I know."

"You were right years ago, you outgrew the assistant role way back. I just wouldn't find anyone as competent as you. You're gonna have a fleet of your own staff now. "

"It's funny, that's what CJ said."

"What?"

"CJ said you kept me around because you wouldn't find anyone else to run your office like I did. She thought you didn't want me the way I wanted you. I knew different but she made me realise I had to do something about it."

Josh became silent and loosened his embrace of her. Donna watched him, he looked annoyed and sad all at once. She understood she had been angry with CJ too.

She knew they were more than boss and assistant, more than friends. Their relationship was different; it was precious and had been since before Rosslyn. She suspected no one knew the depths of emotion they had invested in each other after the shooting. She didn't want CJ to be right and knew deep down she wasn't, but the words coming from her friend had upset her. Coupled with Josh's lack of support in her career, she's started to doubt everything and she'd run away from him that night. She'd hated that she'd done it, that her faith in him had been shaken.

Then, when she woke in Germany and he'd been there, both times she came round from surgery, she knew she'd been right.

Josh was still quiet. He was obviously processing his thoughts and she waited for him to speak.

"I don't remember when I fell in love with you. I wish I could, but it sort of crept up on me. I didn't realise what it was till Gaza."

"Josh," she whispered. One word, his name, that spoke more than any other reply could have done.

"Not very romantic, I know." He said, lifting one eyebrow smirking a little ironically, looking at her.

"It's ok. I probably couldn't put my finger on when I fell for you either. I just know that I love you now."

"But you know what." He rolled towards her and leaned close, kissing her firmly. She responded and threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. "We finally seem to have got it right."

"Yes," she agreed. "But you know something?"

"Mmm?" He questioned, muffled as he leaned down and rested his chin on her neck.

"We're gonna screw this up sometimes. I mean you're you…"

"Hey!"

"Josh," she playfully reprimanded him. "You're you and I'm me. We're gonna piss each other off."

"A lot."

"You'll piss me off more."

"Probably," he deadpanned and then kissed her again, finally pulling away slightly and whispering against her lips. "I'll try really hard not to."

………………….

Later, they both sat on the balcony, showered and dressed. They were eating a light breakfast and reading newspapers. She'd nearly had to pick herself off the floor when he told that he'd left his pager and blackberry behind in DC, so the least she could do was allow him a copy of the Washington Post – mainly because she was itching to see what was going on too. They decided not to bother with the television, knowing that once it went on, it would be hard to switch off. Falling back into old habits was inevitable, but they'd talked about fighting those urges for a few more days yet.

As she finished off her juice and fruit, she folded the pages of the Times over and looked over to Josh. She nearly had to pick herself off the floor all over again. He'd fallen asleep, at the most preposterous angle, his hand round a glass balanced on his knee, chin on his chest.

Fighting the urge to just watch him for a while and stifle giggles, she leaned forward and gently tried to take the glass without waking him.

But that wasn't to be, he stirred as she pulled the glass away from him and looked surprised at himself.

"Wow, fell asleep there?" He questioned groggily.

"Yeah, you did."

"Sorry."

She grinned, stood up, and dropped a gentle kiss on his forehead as she walked past him back into the kitchenette, placing the glasses in the sink.

He yawned and stood up leaning, his elbows on the balcony rail, andholding his head in his hands. He rubbed his scalp sharply to try to get the blood flowing. He didn't notice her come back until he felt her arms loop round his waist.

"Hey."

"Josh, why don't you rest? If you need to sleep you should."

"If I sleep now, I won't sleep later."

"That works for me."

Grinning, he twisted in her arms to face her, leaning his cheek against hers. "Mmm, must be all the love making."

"Sapping you of your powers? Seriously Josh, you sleep for a while or go for a swim. I'll go into town and wander around."

"No, Donna."

"Josh, I'm going shopping."

"Swimming for me, it is then."

"I'll get lunch out. How about I buy food and we eat here tonight, or a picnic? Picnic on the beach for dinner?"

"Sounds fantastic," he said, stifling another yawn, though she got the impression that her suggestion of a picnic probably wasn't a winner with him. Tough.

"Great. Now go to bed."

"I think I'll sit here for a bit longer first."

"Ok," she leaned in and kissed him gently. He returned the kiss, trying to deepen it, lifting his hand to her waist, so she leaned back and broke it off. "I'm going shopping – you're a distraction, but you're not that good."

He cocked his head to one aside and winked at her as she backed away.

"Dammit."

…………………………….

Donna enjoyed her time alone; browsing in quaint shops, trying on sarongs and sandals, buying trinkets for friends. She wandered on the beach and sat on the harbour wall watching the world go by. She couldn't remember the last time she'd taken the time to appreciate her surroundings like this.

She had to be alone after this morning's nightmare. Part of her had been grateful that he was there when she woke, but she needed to make herself work through the relaxation techniques and cleansing rituals she'd developed for dealing with her fear and grief.

Concentrating on beating fear had led to time spent considering the job waiting for her back in DC. From the moment Helen Santos had offered her the job of Chief of Staff, there was no question she'd take it, no need for a list of pros and cons, it was an unbelievable offer. But her rational side stopped her from accepting it on the spot. Two hours later, no problem! She still had so much to accomplish and this was the greatest way she could see to do that. Helen Santos wouldn't be window dressing on the Santos Administration; she was going to muck in, get dirty, and work hard, and Donna couldn't wait to get started.

Of course she was terrified too. The odds were stacking in her favour, and as she contemplated the weeks, months, years ahead, in a way she hadn't dared herself to for a long time, she was content. She had the tools, the confidence, the ability, the connections, and she knew she had the beginnings of a trusting relationship with Helen. All these things gave her cause to believe she would succeed.

And now she had Josh too, with his wisdom and experience.

She wanted to make sure they'd make time for each other, more than brushing past each other in the halls and stolen moments. She wanted more, but she was realistic. There was a lot of hard work ahead for them both, but making their relationship work might prove the hardest task of all. She just had to count the failed marriages in the West Wing, the relationships that never got off the ground, and it was clear the odds were stacked against them.

But it wasn't like they'd just me; they knew the pressures they were both facing better than anyone, they justneeded to control them. After his declaration last night, she knew he was as willing to fight for them as much she was, she just hoped that was enough.

She blamed her melancholy mood on the downward slope from an adrenalin high. The sun was hot on her shoulders, so she left the harbour wall in search of a wide brimmed sunhat to shade her. She could happily have stayed at on the harbour side for another hour, just people watching. She wanted to give Josh hours by himself; to sleep, to relax, to do whatever it was he needed to do. But in the end, the incentive for going home was too great, knowing he was waiting for her. A few more shops and then time for home.

………………………………

He hadn't meant to sleep. Almost as soon as Donna had left, he'd collapsed on the bed with the full intention of finishing the paper. The next thing he knew, it was late afternoon. Sleeping in the day was completely alien to him, reminding him of being sick as a child. But today it seemed his body didn't take dislike into account as he woke late, groggy, with his mouth feeling like it was full of cotton wool.

He heaved himself off the bed, deciding to swim. And while Donna wasn't there to berate him for his choice, he chose to use the hotel pool rather than the sea.

Exiting the hotel, he padded across to the pool in bare feet, the heat of the day radiating from the tiles. He draped his towel over the back of a sun lounger. He was almost alone; a man and woman, probably in their early 60s, sat a few chairs away, both reading novels. Josh watched the man pick up a bottle of water, take a sip, and pass it wordlessly to the woman, who, without taking her eyes off the page, reached out and took the bottle, putting it to her own lips. Watching the unconscious gesture and recognising something in it, he couldn't help the grin that appeared.

He slipped into the warm water and relaxed; he ducked his head underneath, pushed away from the wall and skimmed out on his back. He floated for a few moments, looking up at clouds and birds, then turned over and swam with strong, even strokes.

He'd spent a lot of time swimming as part of his recovery years ago; it was good exercise and he had always enjoyed it, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd been swimming when he wasn't hurried. He had not been in the last 18 months, and before that he resorted to squeezing in a few lengths at lunch if he could. It was one of the few sports where you could just clear your head, not think about anything, and just do it. Finally unfogging his head.

This afternoon he'd had a dreamless sleep, and now his blood was pumping. He felt invigorated for the first time in a long time. He swam for a long time, without any unease at who might be watching. He would alternate between chopping through the water as fast as he could and slowing to a few lengths of gentle backstroke. Sometimes he just floated on his back, trying to keep his mind clear.

He finished a fast length, head down, breathing on every third stroke. As his fingers came into contact with the wall, he broke above the water, breathing hard. As the water cleared from his eyes, he saw her. She was sitting on the edge of the chair on which he'd placed his towel, a few shopping bags at her feet. She had a new sun hat, brim pulled down low, but he could tell she was watching him, even from behind sunglasses.

He folded his arms and lifted his elbows to the side of the pool, holding himself up on the side.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey yourself."

"How long you been there?"

"A while."

"You coming in?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Nope, not what I had planned." He may have been imagining it, it might have been water in his ears, but he thought her voice had a deeper than usual quality to it.

"What did you have planned?"

"Come inside away from people and I'll show you."

Nope, definitely not imagining it.

"Donnatella?"

"Joshua. Get out of the pool."

He didn't need telling twice. He put his hands flat on the edge of the pool and kicked off from the bottom, pushing up and out.

He walked over to her and grabbed the towel from the back of the chair, rubbing it quickly over his face and hair. He looked down at Donna; she was looking at him over the top of her sunglasses, comically slack-jawed. He couldn't help laughing and knelt down, pushing her bottom jaw up with a fingertip, planting a quick soft kiss on her surprised lips.

"Donna? You ok?" He quipped, fully expecting a slap upside the head.

"We have to get inside now, away from, you know, people."

"Ok," he replied standing. "I'm all stood up, ready to go. You're not."

"Uh, yeah, right." She rambled, standing and grabbing her shopping bags. "Hurry up," she said indicating the hotel with a nod of her head.

"Sure thing, what you got in here?" he replied, taking a bag from her. He looked in the bag, mostly to delay thinking about what was going to occur once they got back to the apartment. He was only wearing a pair of swimming shorts and would like to make it back to the room without embarrassing himself completely.

"Uh, umm, some fruit, bread, salad, some other stuff. ….uh….Wine."

"Sounds nice," he laughed, rejoicing over her lack of verbal skills. As always, making her tongue-tied made him unbelievably happy.

He made an effort to find out what she'd been doing that day to pass the time on the way to the room. By the time they got to the front door, she'd really given up trying to answer any of his inane questions and he'd stopped asking them.

Unlocking the door, she rushed inside, dropped her bags on the floor and pushed him roughly against the door, kissing him fervently.

"Mmm, Donna?"

"Mmmmm"

"Donna….."

"What?"

"Shouldn't we, you know, not leave the food on the floor?"

"Mmmmm, what?"

"Donna, come on, we should put this stuff at least in the fridge, before you ravish my body."

His stomach bottomed out as she pulled away and grabbed the two bags off the floor and stalked over to the kitchen. Worried he had said the wrong thing he started after her quickly.

"Here, Donna, let me…" but was gobsmacked again as she wrenched the door to the fridge open, shoved both bags in without any care and slammed the door shut. She swivelled on her heel and marched back over to him, latching her lips to him again and grabbing his ass. "Mmm. God, Donna."

He brought his hands up into her armpits and picked her up, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist. She clung on, digging her nails into his shoulder blade, still damp from his swim, and gasped as he pressed them against the nearest wall.

"Josh." She moaned into his mouth, and squeezed her thighs around his waist nearly causing him to lose his mind. He hadn't held anyone up like this for a long time and as detached as his mind was, feeling her warm centre grind against him, he knew he wasn't going to be able to continue on this course against a wall. Disappointing as that was he was still able to concoct a reasonable alternative.

He swung her away from the wall, and strode to the kitchen table. planting her on it. She was immediately lower than him so he grabbed her face firmly and lifted her lips to his.

His hand moved to her breast and hers to his back, running them tightly across his shoulders. He lowered his head and suckled at her nipple through the light fabric of her dress. Donna sighed loudly and thrust herself forward into his hand. Desperate to get her clothes out of the way, he moved his fingers and found the tie at the top of the halter neck, pulling one end and hoping it would fall undone. Luck was on his side; the fabric fell down and away and he had immediate access to her glorious breasts.

She reached down, past his busy hands, and squirmed, trying to get her panties off. He drew back, incredibly aroused at her urgency and the way her breast heaved under his palms. She pulled her knees up, most ungracefully, and slid the white panties off her body, then grabbed the waistband of his shorts and pulled them over his cock.

Unmistakable desire coursed through her as she laid her palms flat against his chest, dropping her head back inviting him in to kiss her. He obliged, biting her lower lip and drawing intense moans. She drew back erotically, slowly, breaking the kiss, trailing her nails down his chest until her fingers could no longer reach him and she was laid flat on the table.

He hoped the furniture was up to this.

He grasped her slim ankles, pulling them up, so her knees were bent and her legs slipped again around his waist. He leaned over her to take a nipple between his teeth as he let her ankles go and felt them lock together behind his back. He slipped his fingers along her centre to test how ready she was for him.

Oh man, she was ready.

He released her nipple and tilted his chest over hers, placing his cock at her entrance, gently nudging, positioning himself, planning to tease her as long as they could both could stand it. But she got one better of him again as she tightened her grip of his torso and pulled her ankles towards herself. He groaned her name loudly as he slid inside, and then again as she squeezed him. He buried himself as far inside her as he could, feeling her stretch and relax around him. Finally, as she curled her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and urged him forward, he began to thrust. Slowly, deeply, drawing as far out of her each time as he could, almost out, before she drew him back in with her legs.

Needing his hand to brace himself, he gripped the edge of the table and the other moved up to attend to her breasts. Taking the initiative again, she took his hand and placed it between her legs, leaving him no doubt where she wanted his attention. Shit, he loved this assertive side of her, always had, but loved it when it was demonstrated in this particular manner.

Against her demands, he brought his thumb up to her lips, offering it to her to lick, which she did, grazing her teeth over it before he finally began to circle her clit with his thumb and finger.

He watched, enchanted as she rocked her head from side to side, moaning his name. He started to speed up his thrusts, shoving himself as deep as he could. She was clenching around him in a rhythm to match his invasion of her, squeezing his each time he pulled back, making it impossible for him to slip out of her. He moved harder until she began to whimper.

He looked at her breasts, moving in time with the thrusts and wished he could reach them with his mouth, wished he could taste her. He let go of the table for a few seconds, enough time to take her hand, which itself had been gripping the edge of the table and moved it to her breast, inviting her to play with her own nipples. She complied immediately and he watched her hand pinching her own taut peak. She lifted her head to stare at the joining of the bodies, the angle affording her a view of his shaft invading her again and again. He placed his hand behind her head, holding it up so she could watch them as they became one.

The combined pressure of her legs around his waist, the massaging of his cock, and the image of her teasing herself was more than he could stand.

"Donna, I'm close…."he murmured insistently.

"Me too."

He sped up as much as he could without the risk of the table collapsing beneath them. His thrusts became less coherent and he began to shake with the onset of his orgasm. He flicked her clit with his thumb and she screamed as they came forcefully together.

He collapsed over her, leaning his forearms on either side of her, gasping for air, staying inside of her, feeling the aftershocks of both their orgasms continue to pulse through them. His head felt heavy and he leaned his forehead to her shoulder, chests heaving.

Only one thing could really be said when he finally regained the power of speech, so he raised his head and looked her in the eye as she re-focussed on him.

"So you missed me then?"

……………………………………….

**More? Good/bad/indifferent...please review! It is just a little click away!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note.** Once again so many thank yous for all the feedback. I hope I've managed to contact you all personally - it means so much to me.

There may be a teeny break before the next, and final, chapter is up! This chapter is quite short...but a cliffhanger may be involved!

------------------

**Chapter 5**

Donna kicked off her sandals to feel the warmth of the sand. She swapped the bag she was carrying from one hand to the other and picked up her shoes, raising her other hand to shade her eyes from the setting sun. She looked around for a suitable spot.

"There?" She pointed towards a couple of palm trees at the edge of the beach where it became grassy scrub. The sea had turned and was on its way out; she'd watched the waves begin to move down the shore from the balcony earlier while Josh showered and she prepared their dinner. She considered that CJ would probably have killed her for being far too domesticated, but there was something comfortable about it all the same.

"Sure, looks good," Josh agreed, taking a rug from under his arm, shaking it out, and spreading it on the sand. Jacob had leant them everything they needed for a picnic on the beach, including a corkscrew and the rug.

Donna couldn't help but be amused at the sight. He looked up at her from where he was straightening out the corner of the rug and raised his eyebrows at her wry grin. "What?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I think it has something to do with the continual amazement at being on vacation, you know, with you."

Then only response was a roll of his eyes.

"That's better. I was starting to think you'd gone soft."

He just ignored that altogether.

She sat on the rug and began to take the food out of the bags.

"Donna, this all looks very green."

That was the closest he'd come to whining all week; he got points for making it this far. She passed him the corkscrew, along with a bottle of wine.

As he took it from her, she bit back a sensitive system jibe, mostly as she was quite looking forward to getting a bit tipsy herself. They'd had a quiet, relaxing, and solemn day all in all, not counting the sex on the table, so maybe it was time for a bit of silliness.

The champagne from the first night hadn't been touched, and the second bottle of wine the night before hadn't been finished, so maybe she should start on this one. There was something about drinking in the open air that always made her get drunk faster so that was to be avoided. Of course she wasn't normally a red drinker but today was ok for an exception; Red wine was better than warm white.

He poured two small glasses of wine, clinking his against hers. She smiled and took a large sip, instantly remembering she ought to take it slow for now. It was a light meal; they'd both worn their swimsuitsintending to go for a night swim.

They ate slowly, the conversation sliding towards work and again, she found she didn't mind so much. It was a common part of their future and without being stuck in the middle Washington, they found they could be excited about the prospects that lay ahead. They were bouncing ideas off each other as equals; it affirmed her self-esteem every time he chose to ask her opinion about an issue. They were their own worst enemies and harshest critics, but at the same time each other's most loyal supporters. These days she could tell him exactly what she thought without him dismissing her, he'd take her opinion with weight. She'd worked hard for it.

It did, however, remind her of the morning in his apartment when, after she'd gone over specifically to bed him, he had crept out of said bed to work on the Education Initiative. She knew that he was going to get immersed in his new role, but then so was she.

After a while she could see frowns start to form on his brow as his amazing and complex mind went into overdrive, but to her relief it was Josh who waved the conversation off. This boded well, she surmised, and having finished her salad a while back, Donna decided it was time to bring the entertainment portion of the evening. Standing up, she unceremoniously pulled her dress over her head. Josh raised his eyebrows, and slowly looked up at her, not hiding how much he was enjoying sudden change of subject.

"C'mon. Let's get wet." She wasn't above obvious innuendo.

Not needing to be told twice, Josh jumped up and stripped his t-shirt off.

Coming to the Caribbean in November had its perks; they were utterly alone, at least a mile from the hotel and in the opposite direction from town.

The sun was quickly heading for the horizon as they splashed into the warm water. The scene was so beautiful that she couldn't help but giggle; it was yet another cliché they were acting out. As long as they didn't end up rolling in the surf necking, she might be able to hold it together.

Josh let go of her hand and dove under the breaking waves, the powerful muscles on his back flexing as he went under. Dammit if she couldn't just watch that all day. She finally stopped staring and followed him; she submerged her body, surfacing beyond the breakers. They'd been here three nights and this was the first time she'd swum. She saw him stop and stand up, wiping the hair back from his forehead and turning to face out to sea.

There, in the ocean, as deep oranges and reds of the sunset reflected off the water and on to his face, all thoughts of cliché vanished. Donna realised she was privy to the last side of Josh she had never seen, possibly a side he hadn't shown to anyone.

He looked serene, totally at peace, and seeing him continue to let down his guard in front of her, Donna felt whole. Needing to touch him, to be with him, she swam over to him.

…………….

Josh heard Donna approach. He reached out for her as she swam alongside him, but she shied away slightly. "What?"

"I thought you were going to dunk me."

"You don't like being dunked?" He grinned.

"Does anyone? Seriously, I hate it."

"Okay, c'mere. Trust me?" She didn't look like she trusted him at all. Of course he had been planning on dunking her, but she didn't use that particular "I'm not kidding" face often so he forgot about it. Instead, he clasped her arms, drawing her through the water towards him until she had no choice but to wrap her legs around his waist.

"Josh!"

"What? There is no one around, we haven't seen a soul for hours."

"We're not doing it in the sea."

He pouted at her.

"Josh. We're really not."

"You spoil all my fun."

"If by fun you mean drowning."

"We wouldn't drown!"

Donna raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, give me a chance to convince you," he said, dropping his voice and octave and nibbling her neck. Resisting, she pushed against his chest and tried to escape, but he tightened his arms on her legs so she couldn't pull completely away. Donna swept her arms out at the side, keeping her chest above water, unable to stifle her laughs.

"No."

"Let me at least touch you?"

"Josh, when has the whining ever worked on me?"

"Since I told you I love you?"

"You know, your voice got all high at the end there."

"Yeah, it's something I'm working on. Seriously, Donna, are you trying to kill me?"

Obviously, deciding it was time for payback, she winked at him and slowly leaned back, his arms supporting her as he tilted forward and let her float in the water. She kept her thighs around his waist and propelled her arms through the water to keep her torso afloat.

As Josh held her there in the warm ocean, gazing at her closed eyes and content smile, watching her beautiful hair float in a halo around her face, he fell in love with her all over again. Utterly in awe of this woman, suddenly clear on how much wanted to cherish her and support her. Now, when considering the future, he wasn't thinking in terms of him alone anymore; her plans, opinions, and location mattered to him and again, the normality of that revelation shocked him.

He made another silent vow; he was certainly wracking them up this week. A particular question would be asked this evening that hopefully would make the chances of this surviving and thriving become a whole lot better.

Stirring him from his reverie, she arched her back and he raised her body towards him. Closing the space between their chests, they kissed gently. She unwrapped her legs from his waist to a barely audible groan at the loss of contact.

The amazing thing about equatorial latitudes was how brief dusk was. It wouldn't be long before the stars would be visible, so maybe if he was going to get all serious on her they should get back to dry land. But first, actual swimming.

"Race you to the buoy and back," he nodded, indicating with his head an orange float about 300 feet away.

"I'm not racing, but you go for it. I'll follow."

"You just want to watch my ass."

"I just want to make sure that when you pull up with cramp, I can tell the coast guard which direction your body floated in."

"Nice!"

"Go on, you go for it. I'll take it slow." Knowing watching him swim seemed to be great foreplay Josh leaned across and gave her a kiss on the cheek, fighting the urge to splash her as he swam away from her.

It only took a few minutes to reach the marker, when he stopped and turned to see where she was. He could just about make her out, floating on her back, kicking every now and again to glide across the surface of the ocean. He swam to her side and tugged her hand. "Ok, Donna?"

"Sure, want to go back?"

He nodded and they swam for shore.

……………………

Settling themselves back onto the blanket, Josh poured them both large glasses of wine and they drank quietly, watching the colour drain from the sky. Half an hour after the sun dipped below the horizon the stars were out in force, lighting the sky.

Laying here, Donna beside him, Josh felt the intense stillness creep over him again. Sleep and exercise today had been just what he needed, so he added both to the list of things to ensure he did after inauguration. Sleep might not be so easy to force, but exercise was something he should be able to manage.

Talking about their work earlier had been fine to a point, but he didn't want to get too far into it. Avoiding it entirely wasn't going to work, nor was it healthy. He needed to form a strategy to deal with everything; he'd been so busy getting everything in place that, once again, he'd fallen into the trap. He hadn't realised that the methods he was employing were not working.

Leo's strategy, which involved projecting a veneer of coolness and calm at all times, had worked for Leo. It didn't seem like an achievable system for Josh, but it was something to aim for.

Exercise did come in a number of forms, and some of the avenues that were opening to him now were very appealing. He took a large swig of wine and hugged Donna closer, pressing his lips to the side of her head.

…………………..

"So, you took the Chief of Staff Job then?" He asked somewhat rhetorically. She assumed he was going somewhere with this so she just nodded and let him continue. She was getting a little fuzzy headed from the rich wine and was enjoying the feeling. Draining her glass, she slipped out from under his arm and laid her head on his lap. She luxuriated in his soothing touch, closing her eyes as he tenderly stroked her hair and forehead.

He continued. "Not going to do much for our dating schedule."

"Not really." She sighed, sharing his apparent unease. "It's going to be complicated, but we'll work it out." She looked at him intensely, hoping to provide him some reassurance.

………………

He took a deep steadying breath as he caressed her soft skin, and watched her eyelids flutter shut. "So how about we make it less complicated?"

"Hmmm?"

"How about we make it less complicated?"

"What do you mean?"

"You remember when I said things come out of my mouth, not always the right way and at the right time?"

She shifted her head in his lap to look at him again, one eyebrow raised.

He sighed. "Yeah, ok, so maybe I didn't need to tell you that."

"No, you really didn't."

"Ok, so when we get back to DC, move in with me."

She sat bolt upright and turned to look at him, with utter shock on her face and he couldn't help it, he laughed.

She wasn't quite sure she'd heard him correctly; there was no way he'd said what she thought he'd said. Maybe she was further gone than she thought. What had he just asked? No, stated rather than asked.

She needed it repeated. "Say that again?"

"Move in with me?"

**Oooh a cliffhanger! And just when I've said there may be a little delay! I'll be with you as soon as I can for the final part of this story. BTW - you know what to do, a click on the lickle button works wonders for my soul!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:** Ok, when I said a teeny delay between chapter 5 & 6 the final chapter, I meant teeny! I hope this wraps things up nicely for you all. I am definitely open to the idea of a sequel? Anyone else?

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed. Please let me know what you think of this one...I was worried a bit about it I can tell you! There is less angst, more lurve and another flashback or two!

I end with the lyrics of the song that inspired me. (enter apt. disclamer for lyric useage here!)

**Chapter 6**

**previously on...)**

_"How about we make it less complicated?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You remember when I said things come out of my mouth, not always the right way and at the right time?"_

_She shifted her head in his lap to look at him again, one eyebrow raised. _

_"Yeah, ok, so maybe I didn't need to tell you that."_

_"No, you really didn't."_

_"Ok, so when we get back to DC, move in with me."_

_She sat bolt upright and turned to look at him, with utter shock on her _

_face and he couldn't help it, he laughed._

_She wasn't quite sure she'd heard him correctly; there was no way he'd said what she thought he'd said. Maybe she was further gone than she thought. What had he just asked? No, stated rather than asked. _

_She needed it repeated. "Say that again?"_

_"Move in with me?"_

**-----------------------------**

"Well, at least that sounded more like a question this time!" She said brusquely, with more confidence than she felt. If he was going to fumble this and make it seem like he was asking her to move in for reasons other than truthful ones, she'd make him suffer.

At least he had the good grace to look sheepish. "Look at it this way. We're both going to be Chief of Staff, free time is not going to be a premium for either of us."

"Josh!"

"Your voice just got all high there, Donna."

"Joshua!"

"Ok, ok, not a romantic reason I know."

"Are you serious?" She took his chin in her hands and lifted his face to look him directly in the eye.

"Donna," He smiled crookedly, sounding slightly panicked. "You're the one who laid it out. We've got the rest of transition, first one hundred days, midterms, and re-election! I don't want to get four years down this road and find we haven't seen each other, that we've wrecked this," he pointed form his chest to hers, "because we never spend time together. It's hard enough for people who have been married years to make it work." He looked desperately at her, but she recognised that he was trying to hide the uncertainty and was trying not to pressure her. She felt her stomach flop and lowered her voice as she replied, thinking maybe she'd yanked his chain a little too hard...after all, he couldn't be serious?

"Yeah, but Josh, I didn't mean…"

"It's ok, Donna," he whispered, sounding deflated. "It's ok, if you don't want to. I understand. But ….but let me say this." He looked up her again, seemingly trying to take one last shot at this. "I want you to be there, I want to be there when you're having bad dreams because I want to hold you when you have them."

And that stopped her in her tracks all over again.

She had caught glimpses of this man before, the one who said romantic things disguised as throwaway comments, hoping that the object of his affection wouldn't notice, but that actually they would notice. The same man who once flew half way round the world.

It was just going to take some getting used to – that she was on the receiving end of his intense and all encompassing passion now.

"I don't know what to say."

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows at her – which she knew meant he was thinking – wow, Donna Moss at a loss for words. He was probably doing it just to get her to realise it was still him. The fact he knew better than to say it out loud spoke volumes.

"Yes…no….or I'll think about it?"

It turned out, for Donna, that there was only one answer. "Yeah."

"Is that a yeah to the those are the options, or a yes to…"

"It is a yes to moving in with you."

An enormous grin split his face, his eyes lit up and he sighed loudly in what could only be classed as relief. "Thank you." He said picking up her hands and kissing them. "Donna, I can't do this without you. I need you." There was no response to that but to kiss him.

He tightened his arms around her and squeezed, getting carried away with himself. She yelped and he crushed her to him, breaking the kiss.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, lowering her delicately down onto his lap.

"You think we'll have press to deal with?"

"There's my Donna, practical to a fault. Lou can deal with that. We'll deal with it. Hell, the secret service can deal with it."

Of course their relationship would be newsworthy, but he was confident it would be one of those non-stories. If they did it now, before inauguration, no one would care anyway. He didn't like to think of it that way, but Kazakhstan, and their first 100 days, was pretty much going to detract from the CoS moving his girlfriend into his apartment. The Secret Service would have to learn to love Donna.

She interrupted his musing. "I can't believe you just asked me to move in with you."

"Neither can I."

She turned her head in his lap so she could rest against his knees as he drew them up, bringing them closer. "You've never lived with anyone before, have you?"

"No….You have though."

"Urgh, yeah, that doesn't count." She squirmed in his lap. "I was a kid. But you've never lived with anyone before."

"We just established that."

"Not even close?"

"Well…."

"What?"

"Amy and I…we talked about it."

……………………………

Donna had liked Amy after having tried very hard not to. Obviously there were many grounds not to like her, mostly because she had been having vast quantities of sex with Josh. That and she remained the only person who had ever asked Donna outright about her feelings for Josh.

Of course Donna was aware of the rumours about them, but no one had ever had the balls to ask her straight, apart from this ex-girlfriend who still had a blatant interest. Even the other assistants had never asked, not after the shooting, not ever after Gaza. They all held the Donna-Josh dynamic in reverence, turning a blind eye to the attraction that was apparently painfully obvious to everyone.

When CJ asked her whether the "Josh Thing" was happening, it was like CJ had been waiting for confirmation of long held suspicions. There was no talking Donna out of it this time, no pushing her to leave to do something else, find someone else. It was time to acknowledge that it wasn't taboo anymore and that CJ gave them her blessing.

Donna had been jealous of Amy, of course, and had felt a resurgence of it at Leo's wake; it was hard not to given that she and Josh were on very shaky ground, but they were on that ground together. Amy had made him happy for a while and although it would not have been like him to seek solace in someone's arms, she'd been momentarily worried that he'd fall for Amy's charms again.

Then she'd seen the look on Josh's face as Amy tried to set him up with a friend, barrelling into him about the VP at Leo's wake. Leo's wake for crying out loud – arrogant, insensitive bitch.

"But you never did move in with her."

"No. God, no, can you imagine?"

Silence.

"Ok, dumb question," he conceded.

And there, the past girlfriends thing had been dealt with.

"Your place is nice." She said, settling into his chest. He smelled like the sea, and like Josh, and his scent made her giddy.

"Mmm hmm." He agreed, burying his face in her damp hair.

"Donna?" He was serious again for a moment, seeking permission to broach an uncomfortable subject.

"Yes?"

"I know I don't have to tell you this, but I'll feel better if I say it out loud and then it's said."

She nodded.

"Sometimes, a lot of times, the job is going to come first." He sounded resigned and determined. "There are going to be times, lots of times, when I don't come home at all, when I can't tell you what's going on. I mean, we're going straight into it with Kazakhstan. The World is insane and we're at the centre of it."

"Josh." Again he knew, with the whispering of just his name, he knew she understood, implicitly.

"I know I don't have to tell you."

"I know who you are. I don't expect or want you to change, Josh. I fell in love with who you are. I'm going to help you be the best Chief of Staff you can be and I hope you'll help me be the same. Just promise me one thing?"

"I'll need to hear the promise first, you're just trying to get me in trouble."

She allowed him that. "If there's a problem between you and me, we will talk about it. If the problem is us, we have to talk about it; no avoidance. I don't want to add to the White House relationship disaster statistics. I know I can't see the future, I know we've only played around the edges of the kind of stress and responsibility we're about to suffer. We are more than the sum of our jobs and I don't want to lose us, especially after what we've already overcome, what we've been through. Keeping everything inside nearly destroyed us both first time round. Promise me we won't do that again."

"Donnatella That I can promise," he whispered solemnly, lacing his fingers with hers and pressing her knuckles to his lips. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, how much I want this? I can't regret a minute that has brought us to this point, but I am going to make the most of every minute after this one.

………………………………………

**Election Day**

Josh placed the glass down hard, his decision made. Rising from the sofa, he walked purposefully to the elevator and stopped right behind her. She straightened, acknowledging his presence and moreover his acceptance of her unspoken offer.

He focussed on a spot in front of him on the door, needing to concentrate on something other than the way his fingers were aching to touch her.

Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet.

He took a step to the side to see her face, but she was looking ahead, cool and apparently calm.

The chime of the elevator arriving broke his stare and he watched her as she walked to the centre of the elevator and turned, apparently avoiding eye contact with him. She stretched out and pressed a floor button and he skipped forward as the doors started to close. He wasn't going to miss a second offer of spending the night with Donnatella Moss. He leaned his back against the side of the car and tried desperately not to look phased, although aware that not for a minute would he fool her.

She stood tall and straight, her head slightly to one side, looking at the button curiously. Maybe she was having to concentrate on not jumping him too? The thought cheered him.

Not being able to stand still, even for the short duration of the elevator ride he moved behind her and waited again. He balled his hands into fists at his sides fighting the urge to touch her and get this thing started.

Finally.

The damn elevator had to be broken or extremely heavy, or something, or else it would never have travelled this slowly.

Finally the doors opened, excruciatingly slowly, and simultaneously they stepped forward, walking side by side, until Josh, bouncing on the balls of his feet slipped around her in an attempt to reach his door first. Spinning round, he reclined against the door trying to force her eye to his with a grin. She stopped dead in front of him, face still oddly blank, and his grin faltered, and he smiled weakly at her, fishing in his pocket for his key and holding it out to her, hoping this private and comedic ritual would break the ice.

"Josh, you can work keys. It's just the cards you have trouble with." She deadpanned.

"Right," he said, breathing somewhat easier, reassured that she was bringing banter and turned the key in the lock. He swung the door open and let her go in first, following closely enough to breathe in her scent.

He shut the door behind him and turned to face her, pressing his back against the door and fumbled behind him until he locked the door with a loud click. She had walked forward and stopped in the middle of his room, appearing to survey her surroundings. He watched her face as she gazed around, at the table strewn with papers, the door to the bathroom, the TV that was still on.

Her eyes wandered across the bed as she turned slightly away from him.

She dropped her sweater on the end of the bed, smoothing it with one hand, regrettably making him consider whether she was stalling for time. Was she taking one last moment to contemplate what the hell she was doing?

He had struggled to gauge her expression for the first few moments of their conversation downstairs. It had taken him a few seconds to figure out he was being propositioned. It didn't normally take him that long to work it out – or maybe it did. Maybe it was just because it was her.

As he contemplated this she peered upwards and met his gaze and he finally saw an expression he recognised. If he wasn't mistaken, he was seeing a reasonable sized portion of Donnatella Moss impatience.

Ok then.

He took a step towards her and she instantaneously mirrored him and suddenly they were kissing and touching, his hands cupping her face, her hands on his shoulder, then hands on waists, backs, tangled in hair.

Inescapable urgency overtook them both, kissed turned to bites, sighs to groans, hands that had been running over clothes now unbuttoning, unzipping, yanking cloth away from skin.

He had to feel her skin against his.

…..

She had to feel his skin against hers.

She'd waited too long for this moment. She thought it was gone lost

forever that night in DC when she'd offered him her key and it all got screwed. He hadn't called her, hadn't rung to see if he could knock on her door. She didn't think for a minute he would reject the offer, but everything spun away too fast; she'd known, from the look on his face that something had happened making Edie return her key and he was regretting a missed opportunity.

Nothing had gone wrong tonight. So far.

She pulled his undershirt over his head, breaking a kiss that was threatening to bruise both their lips. Going to work on his belt, he tried to pull her top down over her shoulders. Finally realising what he was aiming for she let go and allowed him to raise it over her head.

As she stood before him in her bra and skirt, watching his face as his eyes roamed over her, she felt weak. He ran his gaze back up to her face and she could have sworn his brown eyes had turned black.

Here, in this dark and impersonal room, she could see and taste the need in him, knowing him. The same need coursed through her and breaking the moment she hastily returned to getting his pants off as he did the same to her skirt.

Suddenly they were both in nothing but underwear and just as the clothing ceased to be a barrier, Josh seemed to have come to a grinding halt. He stopped facilitating her nakedness and just stared at her body. Embarrassment passed through her as she revealed her scars to a lover for the first time, but because it was Josh, the moment was fleeting. He had scars of his own he kept hidden.

……………………

He had never been so turned on, just from the sight of her, a pale Goddess in silk as white as her skin. Knowing he couldn't stay upright much longer he grabbed her tightly, pulling her close, moulding her body to his. He adored the sigh that escaped her as he ground himself into her. He'd kicked off his shoes as she lowered his pants. She still had her heels on, making her taller than him giving him the perfect opportunity to graze his teeth along her neck. They kissed again, increasingly forcefully, until finally he reached up and tangled his hand in her hair twisting their bodies together and pulling them down onto the bed.

He lay on top of her, the urgency continuing as they crushed themselves against each other, like eager teenagers, tongues wrestling, nails scratching, teeth biting, furiously working to remove the last pieces of cloth between them.

This wasn't going to be pretty, nor was it going to last long.

He took her nipple into her mouth and she arched beneath, moaning louder this time. Gripping her waist, Josh rubbed his hands across the small of her back creating a delicious friction, lowering his hands to knead her ass and finally pushing the last piece of lace down over her hips. From where he was positioned, suckling her breast, he could see her as she raised her knees to slip the straps of her heels down and push her shoe off. He took the opportunity to push her panties off, not waiting for permission. He ran his fingers up her calves and then inside her thighs, finally drawing his fingertips slowly across her wet sex.

…………………

Unable to resist she opened her legs to him, any sense of decorum a

fading memory. Moving her one hand that wasn't forcing his head closer to her breast, she reached towards his boxers in an attempt get them off. Taking the hint he quickly released her pushing himself off her and his boxers off him. As soon as he laid back down on her she grasped his erection and squeezed.

"God, Donna."The first words either of them had spoken since getting in the room. She ran her fingers and nails over the length of him, revelling in the wetness as his tip. Shifting under him, she squirmed to position herself so he could just get the hell inside her.

"I'm on the pill Josh." She knew how brusque, how entirely unromantic

and edging towards desperate she was coming off but she didn't give a shit.

He didn't answer her but pressed his lips firmly against hers and she arched her back, opened her legs just a bit more and slid inside.

……………………………

His eyelids flickered shut as he slid into her, moaning loudly, her name on his lips. She was hot and wet and tight and he could not stay still to let her get used to him. Judging by the way she was grinding up into him, pushing on his shoulders, she didn't want him to take his time either. Thank God because there was no way this was going to last. He didn't want to hurt her but she was insistent he complied, slowly inching forward until he was entirely sheathed within her.

He raised himself on his arms, bracing himself on the mattress. He began to thrust harder, deeper, mesmerised by the undulation of her body under his. She dragged her nails across his shoulders and down his chest. He watched as she tilted her chin down, to see where their bodies met and if possible, knowing she was looking at him pounding into her, turned him on more.

"Touch yourself Donna," the words out of his mouth before he thought them. She snapped her eyes to his, and for a moment he thought's he'd gone too far, too much too soon. But when he looked in her eyes, he saw no shock or distaste, just need.

Then she did something that nearly finished him off. She raised her delicate fingers to his lips and offered them to him. He moaned quietly and complied with her unspoken request, his tongue wetting her three middle fingers, which she then lowered to where their bodies joined. She put her fingers either side of his cock as he plunged steadily into her, feeling him, right where they became one.

"Donna," he growled. Was she torturing him, repaying him for countless debts? The extra pressure on his cock, he couldn't take it. He put his hand down to hers and laced his fingers with hers, pinning her hand that had been accosting him to the bed.

He watched her as she moved her other salvia damp hand down, in defiance of him, willingly complying with his earlier request. She began to circle her clit, urgently, insistently as if she knew how he was only hanging on by sheer will. He shifted his angle, up so that his cock was strumming against her. She began to pant and he felt her begin to vibrate underneath him.

Dammit, this really wasn't going to last very much longer.

…………..

She felt the familiar first signs of her orgasm where every part of her that could feel, felt deep, like her body was rising out of the bottom of a pit. The trembles were just threatening to turn into spasms and she removed her fingers, wanting his movements to be what sent her over the edge. She grabbed his ass and pulled him deeper.

"Now."

And he pushed harder and deeper than she thought possible, the sound of skin slapping together increasing and invading. Josh was filling her more than she'd ever been filled and she spilled over the edge. Over and over the waves hit her and she struggled to stifle her screams. She forced her eyes open to watch his face as he came, his final totally uncontrolled thrusts elongating her own orgasm. She watched him fight to keep his eyes open, try desperately to keep his eyes on her. She revelled in his shout and grimace that so closely reflected pain. She'd imagined this moment a million times, but nothing came close to the look on his face as he came down from his orgasm, focusing his eyes on her.

After a few seconds of staring he collapsed on top of her and quickly rolled off to one side. She knew he did it to not hurt her, but she felt a little disappointed; she loved the weight of his body on her, it was so masculine and the weight made it all real. But then, as he rolled on to his back, he clasped her hand nearest to him in both of his, pulling it to rest across his stomach, seemingly not wanting to let go, but not having the energy to do much else. She understood that and didn't mind one bit.

………………..

His body was still pulsating. Quick it may have been but that was the best sex in his life. He didn't want to let go of her but didn't have it in him to do anything else but just breathe and hope to God he recovered rather than passing out. He knew he should say something but had no idea what. He let go of her hand with one of his and wiped his hand across his forehead, exhaling loudly, but quickly retaking her hand again. He glanced across at her to find her looking back and thank God, she was smiling. He grinned back and swallowed every witty remark that came to mind. He knew when to shut up.

……………………..

She smiled at the goofy look on his face. It was the exact look she'd known he'd have. The patented Josh Lyman "I'm da man" look. She couldn't help but smile, it meant it was all real and all right. They'd had sex and the earth hadn't stopped turning.

Of course, they hadn't actually spoken yet and that could be where the wheels came off. She tried to think of something to say – and considering the amount of words spoken in the years they'd known each other, it was surprising when she drew a blank.

But right now she had more pressing matters to attend to and that was probably because of what had just been pressed up against her bladder.

"I'm just gonna…" she said, nodding towards the bathroom.

"Ah…sure," he said, releasing her hand with seeming reluctance that reassured her.

Standing and being separated from him, she had this sudden urge to be dressed that she hadn't had in front of a lover since she was a teenager. Remembering that she was old enough to know better, she took a silent breath and just went for it, crossing the room as quickly and gracefully as she could manage, all things considered.

As she walked into the bathroom, she was disconcerted to find she couldn't tell if his eyes on her; even after months apart she could still tell when he walked into a room.

She walked straight into the bathroom and did what she had to, washed her hands, looked in the mirror and ran a hand through her hair, getting the inevitable bed head tangles out. She turned, placed her hand on the handle, took another deep breath. Opening the door Donna was confronted by the second thing that night that convinced her the world was still spinning on the same axis it had always done.

There was Josh, splayed across the bed, flat on his back and sound asleep.

………………………………………………..

**Present Day**

Donna loved his scent, warm and masculine and the way that even as they drifted apart in the course of the night, old habits dying hard, he still sought her in his sleep. When she had woken earlier in the night, she had cuddled close to him and he had remained soundly asleep but managed to draw her close. Now in early daylight, she shifted herself back into that position again, sliding her hand up his chest, through the rough hair that she loved so much already.

Being able to know his body intimately was something she'd yearned for so long and now she was finding herself touching him whenever possible. She felt his heart beat under the pads of her fingers and shut her eyes to concentrate on the steady rhythm. She spread her fingers wide and kissed his chest between them, not wanting to wake him, but unable to keep her hands off him.

Mere hours ago, he had carried her to new heights, touching her, caressing her, firmly, gently. They made quiet intense love only once, silently, reverently, before curling together and falling asleep in each others arms. She hadn't been woken by nightmares this morning and she attributed that to the depths of her sleep and how protected she felt, wrapped in his arms.

Today was now their last day on the island. Josh had arranged to fly back late in the afternoon after discussing getting her moved into his apartment before they started back at work on Monday. She'd joked that if they didn't do it right now it probably wouldn't happen and he'd teased back saying they had to get it done quickly, so she might have to forego the complex packing, labelling and cataloguing system she probably had pre-prepared for moving days.

He'd earned a smack for that, but only because he'd been right.

She couldn't believe they were going to do it, especially as it made all sorts of sense, which was probably why it felt so odd. That and it had been his idea. Well a life being constantly surprised by Josh was going to be a good life. Moving in with him was a step she didn't think he would have been ready to take for years. She had to stop underestimating him. Once again she was forgetting he was a closet romantic, how hard he cared for those he loved and how he would move heaven and earth to get his goals in life. Being one of his goals was now real and she was going to be fit and healthy to give him back as much as he was giving her.

Reluctantly, Donna rolled onto her back; her leg was stiff. It still happened a fair amount, especially after physical exertion and there had been a fair amount of that the past few days. Needing some gentle exercise to loosen the joints and muscles she decided to get up and swim but was finding it hard to tear herself away from his sleeping form. She rolled back to face him again, but scooted back and propped her head up on her hand so she could watch him.

His chest rose and fell steadily, deeply, a faint white scar that possibly wouldn't be noticed unless you were looking for it. Blushing slightly, she realised there were a few fingernail scratches on his shoulder. She made a mental note to spend some time massaging those shoulders before long. Relaxation for him, turn on for her, maybe turn on for him too.

One arm curled under his head and the other stretched in front where he had been holding her. The white sheet draped down over his soft hips and she looked at the trail of hair leading from his belly button down beneath the sheet and she felt herself flushing again.

"Up, Donna," she whispered to herself, though still unable to tear herself away. Instead she found her hand snaking out to him, gripping his wrist gently, her thumb rubbing the outside of his arm, trailing further and further up, until she grasped his elbow. She smoothed the flat of her palm against his bicep and for the first time he stirred, softly moaning. She stilled instantly, not really wanting to wake him from what seemed a peaceful sleep, but again, unable to not touch him. She resumed pressing the flat of her hand up and onto his shoulder, shifting her hips closer to him. He began to stir again as the bed moved with her and he lifted his arm, placing it on her hip, his fingers tightening briefly. Her heart skipped a beat as she realised again how he was automatically reaching for her in his sleep.

Their vacation was drawing rapidly to a close. And yet everything else was just beginning. And it seemed that even in slumber, he wouldn't let them be separated.

Donna decided a little stiffness in her leg would be worth it, and settled back down beside him, to watch the dawn break, letting him hold her in his arms.

Tomorrow they'd wake together as well. And the day after that.And then as often as possible

And they would make it work. Together.

**----------------**

**I know, quite a sudden ending, but I wanted J&D to wake in each other's arms, as they did on election day, but under much better circumstances. **

**Reviews still desperately craved!**

**Hold you in my arms – Ray LaMontagne from the album 'Trouble'**

When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears, it was easy to see that you'd been crying.

Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns, but who really profits from the dying?

I could hold you in my arms I could hold you forever.

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions, it's my worried mind that you quiet.

Place your hands on my face, close my eyes and say love is a poor man's food - don't prophesize!

So now we see how it is this fist begets the spear, weapons of war, symptoms of madness

Don't let your eyes refuse to see, don't let your ears refuse to hear or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness

I could hold you in my arms I could hold on forever


End file.
